For those that don't know, I do not, can not, and had never driven the H2 until a couple of months ago. It was for 5 miles behind my husband in another vehicle. I was a scared duckling following my mama. This is the thread if you haven't seen it:

http://elcova.com/groupee/forums/a/t...1#5801070401ow


Anyway, It was a beautiful day, pretty- a day that you wish you were twins to enjoy it to the fullest. Ken had taken the H2 out - because it was nice I ran errands all day and had just gotten home and I forgot to tan.

It just popped in my head I asked if I could drive the beast. After pleading, batting lashes and promising things I only do on occasion, Kenny let me take it!!!! He even moved the cars for me and started the engine.

It was purring loudly and I could feel the low throbbing rumble in my chest as I approached the driver's side door. I reached up for the handle and slowly moved the heavy hinged mass just outward enough to grab the seat and the inside handle to balance as I bring my foot to hip level and climb in. Engine still purring, I shut the door. Sliding in the seat, the ever-so smooth leather carressed my timid thighs. I slid my hand down and pressed the seat button forward and with chivalry it placed me into position to grip it's round rein. My flip-flops were the only thing that separated my exposed toes from the pedal. I wrapped my tiny fingers around the shaft and pulled it into gear. It slowly left the garage, feeling the two small thuds as it left the concrete slab.

I carefully pushed the pedal just enough to roll me out of the drive way, on to the street and out of the immediate cluster of houses. I was feeling comfortable and confident. The drive out of the neighborhood is quite long and I slowly rumble past some bikes and the clubhouse.

Still not off the long road with nothing but wheat fields on either side, I decided to press the pedal a little harder and it still felt comfortable. So I let off a bit and than really gave it a press and let me tell you- there is nothing to say but "It was f#cking Beautiful". It was like a school bus with a jet engine but totally damn smooth. It hummed, flew and my stomach got butterflies. Like when a parent swung you around as a child. It appeared to be really cold inside the vehicle, but it was still nice and warm outside. It's hard to explain but it was intoxicating.

I had trouble parking it at the tanning booth. Then I got a lot of stares from punks in saggy pants - savages. Tanned. Shimmied to the beast. Climbed in.

Started it, purred out of the parking lot. Turned on to a 45 mph road and pressed it as usual to make sure I didn't slow the traffic and caught up and passed cars that passed already! Turned that beautiful black bitch back on the road where we made our magic together and did it again. Beautiful....

Then as soon as we pulled into the driveway Kenny just happened to leap out of the garage and inspect it. 4 miles and unassisted. I gave it my phone number

For those that don't know, I do not, can not, and had never driven the H2 until a couple of months ago. It was for 5 miles behind my husband in another vehicle. I was a scared duckling following my mama. This is the thread if you haven't seen it:

http://elcova.com/groupee/forums/a/t...1#5801070401ow


Anyway, It was a beautiful day, pretty- a day that you wish you were twins to enjoy it to the fullest. Ken had taken the H2 out - because it was nice I ran errands all day and had just gotten home and I forgot to tan.

It just popped in my head I asked if I could drive the beast. After pleading, batting lashes and promising things I only do on occasion, Kenny let me take it!!!! He even moved the cars for me and started the engine.

It was purring loudly and I could feel the low throbbing rumble in my chest as I approached the driver's side door. I reached up for the handle and slowly moved the heavy hinged mass just outward enough to grab the seat and the inside handle to balance as I bring my foot to hip level and climb in. Engine still purring, I shut the door. Sliding in the seat, the ever-so smooth leather carressed my timid thighs. I slid my hand down and pressed the seat button forward and with chivalry it placed me into position to grip it's round rein. My flip-flops were the only thing that separated my exposed toes from the pedal. I wrapped my tiny fingers around the shaft and pulled it into gear. It slowly left the garage, feeling the two small thuds as it left the concrete slab.

I carefully pushed the pedal just enough to roll me out of the drive way, on to the street and out of the immediate cluster of houses. I was feeling comfortable and confident. The drive out of the neighborhood is quite long and I slowly rumble past some bikes and the clubhouse.

Still not off the long road with nothing but wheat fields on either side, I decided to press the pedal a little harder and it still felt comfortable. So I let off a bit and than really gave it a press and let me tell you- there is nothing to say but "It was f#cking Beautiful". It was like a school bus with a jet engine but totally damn smooth. It hummed, flew and my stomach got butterflies. Like when a parent swung you around as a child. It appeared to be really cold inside the vehicle, but it was still nice and warm outside. It's hard to explain but it was intoxicating.

I had trouble parking it at the tanning booth. Then I got a lot of stares from punks in saggy pants - savages. Tanned. Shimmied to the beast. Climbed in.

Started it, purred out of the parking lot. Turned on to a 45 mph road and pressed it as usual to make sure I didn't slow the traffic and caught up and passed cars that passed already! Turned that beautiful black bitch back on the road where we made our magic together and did it again. Beautiful....

Then as soon as we pulled into the driveway Kenny just happened to leap out of the garage and inspect it. 4 miles and unassisted. I gave it my phone number

Ken...I read this in its entirety and all I can say is..... I'm not gonna go there.

Damn! That's all I can say without getting into trouble. Damn!

Nearly a world apart and yet we both drove our Hummers to tan. The USA is a wonderful place, and even more beautiful with Hummers and tan women

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> Posted by Hummer LV:
Nearly a world apart and yet we both drove our Hummers to tan </div></BLOCKQUOTE>HUH? <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> Posted by HLV:
The USA is a wonderful place, and even more beautiful with Hummers and tan women </div></BLOCKQUOTE>Yep, but the damn truckers, red necks and such need to stop glaring. honking and pounding the meat.
F@#$ers.

BTW, hot and tan: good.

Now I need to check my paint for stains.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by LasVegas:
Ken...I read this in its entirety and all I can say is..... I'm not gonna go there. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>I guess you'll be meeting us in Vegas, right?

Crap Ken all I can say is does She have a sister that would like a nice comfortable life style. That is if She does not mind an older Man (48) and is a looker, writer, and has same vocabulary to some relatively close degree on all the above items mentioned. If so give Her my gmail and no I do not mean Your wonderful Wife Her sister, if available.
TAZ

Good grief Ken if Jonahs will not meet You in Vegas I will. I'm not anywhere close but, I will.
TAZ

Wow! I now totally understand the marriage thing.

Ken's gonna get to put it in h2cp's dirty place.

WOW! keep telling the story , dont stop.
(Iwishiwasatanningbed)

I'm a big fan of h2cp's writing style. The emails I get illustrating tent sex are much appreciated.

Ken, the H2's days are numbered. Tanning today, groceries & car seats tomorrow. The tilt meter will be used to determine if one is too close to the curb at the McDonalds drive through window.

Now you're going to be in real trouble when she finds the best place to tan is on top of a scenic rock in Moab....you'll never see that truck again.

Stacy

Stacy, at least that's a great way to get her to Moab. I'll be mentioning that later.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by devilsfan:
Now you're going to be in real trouble when she finds the best place to tan is on top of a scenic rock in Moab....you'll never see that truck again.

Stacy </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

No Moab looks very scary , I just liked the speed. But the rock sounds good.....