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-   -   Democrat, Republican OR Southern Republican (http://www.elcovaforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14983)

2-H2's 01-23-2006 09:27 PM

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around
the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah,
raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40,
and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches
you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while
he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for
few days and try to come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....

(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips
or Hollow Points?

Son: Git-r-Dun Daddy! Can I shoot the next one!

Wife: Don’t you even think about taking that to the Taxidermist!


made my day...

2-H2's 01-23-2006 09:27 PM

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around
the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah,
raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40,
and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches
you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while
he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for
few days and try to come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....

(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips
or Hollow Points?

Son: Git-r-Dun Daddy! Can I shoot the next one!

Wife: Don’t you even think about taking that to the Taxidermist!


made my day...

HIHUMMER 01-23-2006 09:35 PM

LMAO!! Ah...I love being southern!

DDWH 01-23-2006 09:43 PM

PERFECT!

I guess I live in the wrong state....I am southern stuck on the beach

Klaus 01-23-2006 10:15 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by HIHUMMER:
LMAO!! Ah...I love being southern! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

x2

Klaus 01-23-2006 10:27 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Were those the Winchester Silver Tips
or Hollow Points? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Winchester Silver Tips ARE Hollow Points!

Big Z 01-23-2006 10:37 PM

ROFLMFAO!

h2co-pilot 01-23-2006 10:45 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Klaus:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Were those the Winchester Silver Tips
or Hollow Points? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Winchester Silver Tips ARE Hollow Points! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Only you Klaus.



They didn't have a "run and scream at him like a freaking maniac and shove his knife up his ass that he wipes with his own hand then use it to cut out his tongue and slit his sac" option or "run away and scream like the gurl you are."

Oh well, guess I am an Independent.

NEOCON1 01-24-2006 01:21 AM

git-r-dun

DRTYFN 01-24-2006 01:49 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by 2-H2's:
Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around
the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah,
raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40,
and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches
you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while
he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for
few days and try to come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....

(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips
or Hollow Points?

Son: Git-r-Dun Daddy! Can I shoot the next one!

Wife: Don’t you even think about taking that to the Taxidermist!


made my day... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oregon Republican's response:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....

(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

(sound of shotgun safety) BOOYAAAH!!!!! BOOYAAAH!!!!!BOOYAAAH!!!!!BOOYAAAH!!!!!BOOYAAAH!!!!!

(sounds of keys jingling, vehicle door opening & closing and H2 engine roaring to life) VVVVRAAARRRROOOOMMMMM!!!!! (sounds of squishing, bodily fluids being squirting and bones being crushed X5)

(sound of zipper) (sound of piss hitting pulpy mess)

BIG SMILE

h2co-pilot 01-24-2006 11:05 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by DRTYFN:
(sound of zipper) (sound of piss hitting pulpy mess)

BIG SMILE </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

LMAO. Allah help him if the Oregonian brought a Propel.

ShaggyX 01-24-2006 12:49 PM

I am more or less a Pacifist (maybe a Pragmatic Pacifist)...but even I would put a bullet in the guys brain in that situation.

Kid Shyleen 01-24-2006 03:04 PM

Addition: Nev-aa-dan response:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around
the corner </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

BANG
dial 911
"...I need a man arrested"

Oh, and HK P2000SK .40 Black Talons...oh sorry, can't say that anymore...


Great post!

Ipedog 01-24-2006 04:35 PM

Happilly not affiliated with any political party, but the answer is still the same -

BANG! One shot, one kill. Its that simple.

Mr. I - Man 01-24-2006 05:03 PM

Kneecap him, then donkey kick his skull into a nice body temperature hummus. Serve promptly Delicious!!

ShaggyZR2 01-24-2006 05:09 PM

Not funny.

2-H2's 01-24-2006 05:25 PM

Back off....Hillary

Wasn't it YOUR husband, with a cigar, in the oval office & a nasty stained dress that got you this butt hurt, then elected to senate?

ShaggyZR2 01-24-2006 05:27 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by 2-H2's:
Back off....Hillary

Wasn't it YOUR husband, with a cigar, in the oval office & a nasty stained dress that got you this butt hurt, then elected to senate? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I don't understand the question.

DDWH 01-24-2006 05:40 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Hillary_Clinton:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by 2-H2's:
Back off....Hillary

Wasn't it YOUR husband, with a cigar, in the oval office & a nasty stained dress that got you this butt hurt, then elected to senate? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


I don't recall the question. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

fissed

DRTYFN 01-25-2006 05:12 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Hillary_Clinton:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by 2-H2's:
Back off....Hillary

Wasn't it YOUR husband, with a cigar, in the oval office & a nasty stained dress that got you this butt hurt, then elected to senate? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I don't understand the question. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Funny, your post count is 234 but only 5 of your posts still exist. You remind me of someone I know. Do you like thick, dark beer?


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