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-   -   Politically Correctness (http://www.elcovaforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5727)

2-H2's 03-21-2006 08:09 PM

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."

You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.



And furthermore ....

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."



HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE"

bparker 03-21-2006 08:23 PM

LOL good sheet!

HummBebe 03-21-2006 08:31 PM

LMAO!!!
This one's for Edspad

Quote:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2-H2's 03-21-2006 08:38 PM

I can't take the credit...someone forwarded it to me earlier today.

But it is hilarious!!!

LC

Sewie 03-21-2006 08:45 PM

Quote:

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

Hey, I resemble that remark.

DDWH 03-21-2006 08:47 PM

heh!

HummBebe 03-21-2006 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sewie:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

Hey, I resemble that remark. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Still attempting the "cabbage patch"???


LMAO!!! thats a great visual

Mrs.ssippi 03-21-2006 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by HummBebe:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Sewie:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

Hey, I resemble that remark. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Still attempting the "cabbage patch"???


LMAO!!! thats a great visual </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, the running man.

KenP 03-21-2006 09:33 PM

Funny list.

Ipedog 03-21-2006 11:00 PM

ROFLAMO

Sewie 03-21-2006 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by HummBebe:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Sewie:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content"> 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

Hey, I resemble that remark. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Still attempting the "cabbage patch"???


LMAO!!! thats a great visual </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

You want a visual? You'll see just how white I am on Saturday.



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