Well, did you try the finger cutting?
Go unhook the negative battery cable, let it sit for 14min 37sec and then hook the cable back up and give it a try. Seriously, try undoing the neg to "reset" things. The amount of time is homage to all of the tech lines you call when your VCR, computer, satellite box, etc. is acting up and they tell you to undo the power and let it sit for 15 minutes.