[CO Hummer]

Dear Dealer,

Thank you for charging me 10 times more than any of your service or parts should cost. I sincerely appreicate getting raped on price and turnaround time. I would like to offer a special thank you for treating me like a trailer park trash when I come to the dealership in shorts and a t-shirt.

Many times my wife and I have discused how funny and exhilarating it is when we know more about TSBS, design problems, and fluid change intervals than you do. One of the things I really appreciate is when you've said you lubed all 10 zerk ports. You and I both know that the 11th one is hard to get to and not really worth the bother. I know that as a customer I don't really need to know about the silly little things that are inconvenient for you to do. Thanks for not bending over backwards.

I must say that your service hours of operation are truly admirable. I can see that you are giving your mechanics a proper work/life balance by not requiring them to work at times that are convenient to customers. I'd hate to see people working after 5 pm or on weekends. Let those guys who can afford Hummers take a half day off to get their fuel filter changed.

Finally, I appreciate your ability to short cut proper fixes in order to get my vehicle back to me quickly within a week or two. It seems like every one wants to "do it right" these days, but not you. Who needs to get to the bottom of a strange noise or vibration when you can simply say "we didn't hear anything". Life is short and I commend your adherence to a "hands off" policy when it doesn't have an impact to your bottom line.

P.S. Keep up the butt-kissing when were complain a little bit. We know you don't mean it, nor will you really do anything to address our concerns. But it feels really good so please don't stop.

Sincerely,
Your Loyal Customer