OK, here's another idea. If you're parked on the side of the road and and some bleedingheartfingerwagginghomosexualtreehugger badmouths your Hummer:
Immediately restart your vehicle before going any further and let it idle, telling the little faggot that you intend to maximize your contribution to global warming. Then, go to the the back of your vehicle and pull out your chain saw. Make sure you put too much 2-stroke oil in it so that it produces a choking, black cloud and then saw down the nicest tree you can find. Ideally, select one with a spotted owl nesting in it. Pour any remaining gasoline/oil in creek. Use the tree to make a large bat, then reach back into your vehicle, pull out a cuddly little seal pup and club it to death. As you wave goodbye and depart, be sure to leave the roadway and grind your tire treads over as many endangered wildflowers as possible.
Fuel burned while idling: $4
Chain saw, fuel, oil, live seal pup $347
NRA Member and Have a Nice Day bumper stickers $1
The expression on granolabreath's face in your rear view mirror: Priceless
