[thedefiantone]

Well?hello to the Elcova Forums. Yes, it?s me, the guy with the H1 ad on Craigslist that has enthralled and enflamed everyone on the site thanks to DOCHUMMER. I thought in fairness to all of you I would at least make a post and give you an opportunity to flame directly at me as I?m willing to read your remarks. G-Roy, was in fact kind enough to send the link to me, to what end I?m not sure, but, for the record, it was appreciated.

First off? so we?re clear, I actually like the H2 rig, not so crazy about the H3 (here comes another onslaught of posts). It?s certainly not a HMMWV in the strictest sense of the term, but, I think they?re nice looking rigs. The debate which you?ve all begun here is nothing more than a Ford vs. Chevy pissing contest (to which I?m sure all of you have heard or partaken in at some point). Furthermore, to quash some of the unfortunate and unfounded remarks about my personality based on the context of the ad, and the resounding belief that I apparently think I?m above everyone else because of my ?Super HMMWV?, let me stop that one right in it?s tracks?in fact, I?ll be the first one to say that the H1 is quite susceptible to getting stuck?and I mean HOPELESSLY stuck in the mud (I speak from experience?A LOT of it); I?d be happy to share the PICs and be teased incessantly by all of you (with a couple of exceptions which I address in a moment) and probably be told by a number of you how your H2 has breezed through worse than what I was stuck in. Furthermore, I?ll bet I?ve gotten this thing stuck in places an H3 WOULD breeze right through due to its lighter weight. So?I know well enough that the FAT ASS of the H1 has its draw backs. Oh?and to get out of the mud, while it took hours to do?it was done with the help of a Chevy S15 pickup. So we?re clear, I don?t think the truck is the end all be all of trucks?I was saved by an S15 and I can admit that freely.

To the remark that I need attention?well, that part actually is true! I do, like everyone else on this site that has tricked out their H2, appreciate and like attention that we all get from our rigs, that?s why we bought these things? it certainly wasn?t for the gas mileage (with the possible exception of the H3)! Additionally, I?m hung like a tic-tac, so, I had to buy a huge truck to compensate for my lacking penis size. I?d considered buying a semi at one point (bigger truck to REALLY compensate), but, I couldn?t figure out how to get it in the garage.

To my new friend DRTYFN, I?m sure that the folks of Aumsville would be very appreciative of your offhanded remarks about the town of Aumsville, ?Oh, never mind. It's out in Buttcrack Methville.? Hello, Pot, this is the Kettle calling. Here?s someone that has the audacity to get flamed because I referenced the PUS*Y H2, then posts about how offended he is, and THEN turns right around and condemns an entire town (one I?ll bet he?s never been to nor has any actual knowledge of) in the same way he?s pissy about with me and my post.

I would like to say to GLBLWRMR, your remark was really the best (and I mean it sincerely), ?You know you are a loser when you are the retard that the other retards make fun of!!!? I thought it was one of the cleverest...and, I will take that to heart!

CO Hummer, while I?m certain you?re intent wasn?t to stick up for me (being the AZZHAT I apparently am), I did appreciate your ?It's no different than when we sell our H2s and mention that it's no pu*sy H3.? I think that?s something that everyone in the room should take a moment or two to contemplate.

Boar-Ral?while I?m not married, I?m sure you probably have hit at least a few of the girls I?ve been with?unfortunately I wasn?t always as selective as I should/could have been in my days, so, there?s a good chance the numbers would pan out and your statement is in fact true. Additionally, due to my infinitesimally small penis (see above), I?m not yet married, but, I will however be sure to post again when I do actually get married and we can determine if the wife IS someone you know, er, excuse me, ?I've probably had his wife's back to the ground more than the tires on his rig.??one thing for certain though, you should perhaps be a little less judgmental and sure to know whom you?re dealing with before you spout off. While you may think confronting me about my remarks would elicit the following, ?It wouldn't make a difference. I have dealt with enough people like this to know that their response will be along the lines of, "Well, I own an H1 and you don't, so that is why you are upset. Nyah."?, I believe the length and detail of this post has indicated otherwise, ergo, I think it safe to say now you?ve NOT dealt with enough ?people like this?.

Here?s what I don?t find humorous about this?folks writing things like ?Let's trick him into thinking one of us it interested in buying, then get like 50 H2/H3s to show up and stomp the **** out of him, then steal the title and his truck.? It?s not the statement that bothers me, nor is it because of genuine concern of it happening. I find it troubling that this is the type of reply some folks would actually post and think is acceptable. If you want to rip on me for my ad, please feel free?I can take the heat, but to make remarks such as yours, and for those who thought it acceptable, you?re the folks that I would be wary of for the rest of your group. You?re the folks that take the fun out of this?

In closing, I hope that this can clear the air a bit about who and what I?m about. I would say ?I?m sorry? for any offense I may have created, but, I don?t think this truly warrants an apology. As I said above, it?s no more than the old Chevy vs. Ford thing and I certainly meant nothing malicious about it. Again, while I?m jabbing at the H2 and H3?s, I know that if my trucks BIG FAT ASS got stuck in the mud (AGAIN?did I mention how easily I can get an H1 stuck??? I could actually teach classes on it!), it would probably take 2 or 3 H2?s to get me out due to the H1?s weight alone.

Let?s take a line from the monkey in Planet of the Apes, shall we, ?Can?t we all just get along??? Frankly, I?d bet some of you would be a great deal of fun to go out off roading with, assuming you go with the understanding that you?ll have to pull me out of something at some point, I?m certain of that! I?m sure this will lead to a number of additional posts, hopefully which will be more constructive?some of which I?m sure will be trying to figure out a way to once again prove that I really am some giant AZZHAT (I like that?that?s a good one?), but, sadly, and in a very boring way, I?m not, but I appreciate the attention!

?and for the record, the mechanical bull is a lot of fun! Party at Michaels house?1 H1, 50-60 H2?s and H3?s, a mechanical bull?oh yeah, and one AZZHAT!

See you in the mud?just please bring a tow strap.
Michael