[Matt19]

i put a steaming pile of turd on my driver seat. Nobody wants to steal a car with a steaming hot pile of $hit. I make sure that its the special brand of turd where it stays steaming for a long period of time, in which i will then return to the car before the steaming affect wears off.

Now if I run out of turd, I back into a parking spot where a tow truck cant get infront of, and then pull up the emergency break. If they tow it, they will kill it, and hopefullly I can sue for the damages. (its like dragging a five metric ton metal cube)

I can go on forever...

Now if that doesnt work, and it is about to get stolen, thats when the thief will learn that I live in the trunk with a sawed of shotgun, and a winnie the poo teddybear.
Well since i'm a heavy sleeper, he will start driving the 3 for quite some time before I awake to the gental ride of the hummer. At that point I will cock it and....then i will have to go through the hassel of cleaning it. Since I have a strict schedule, I would have to wait until the weekend becuase I have a routine. So hopefully if my car ever gets stolen, and I use my weapon of choice, it comes on a friday=)