I feel your pain.
I tried installing a ipod adaptor, but I ended up going to an installer that the local dealership uses.
I ended up buying a Perephiral.
Anyways, the adaptor works great, but the installer messed up my trim panel getting to the back of the unit.
The frustration for our modern conveniences is endless.
Hope its a simple fix.
Sorry I can't assist you...just know the feeling of being helpless.