Pole-smoker,
All joking aside, the wrist graphic needs to come down, right now. Not kidding.
Then, take the keys to your Humm-deLade, start the engine, and drive it back to the dealership. Hand the keys to the nice man who sold it to you, and say this out loud;
"I'm not smart enough to own this truck. Please sell me a Kia."
Did I mention that I found a picture of you online as well?
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!