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04-26-2006, 09:16 PM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Fcuk 'em, leave 'em pissed
Posts: 1,282
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How come I never got to do any of the fun stuff like you guys are talking about? I feel like I have lived a sheltered life now. You guys crack me up.
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04-26-2006, 09:28 PM
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Hummer Deity
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Vegas
Posts: 8,750
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LoL
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04-26-2006, 10:55 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 2,767
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Well hell, if we're talking about being stuck in awkward situations....
For any of you that own a Corvette (C5), if you've ever had to change the foglamp bulb, you'll completely appreciate and understand this.
It's very difficult to get your hand down between the headlamp assy and radiator support to replace the bulb. (that is, without R&I'ing hood stop)
So, my brilliant idea is to slide my hand through the vent underneath the turnsignals and work upwards instead.
I slid my left hand inside and when I went to pull it out, my bracelet jammed my hand inside the hole.
No problem, I think I can reach my left hand by placing my right arm down by the open headlamp assy. (remember how difficult I said it was) My idea was to undo my bracelet with my right hand.
Well, turns out my arms are too short to meet and now, I'm got BOTH arms stuck in parts of the car.
I stayed in that freakin' position for almost 15 minutes until the guys came back from lunch.
I tried to cooly ask them for help but it only took a second for them to realize I was stuck.
Stupid is as stupid does...
Mark
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04-27-2006, 12:35 AM
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Hummer Professional
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: florida
Posts: 491
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Mine isn't as stupid as a lot of others, but I thought it was pretty funny...
Adding some security features to my old car, I thought I'd take it out to our land so I didn't disturb anyone while testing the alarm system. I was adding in something that would roll all the windows up when somebody got close enough to my car, then the full alarm goes off when you stick something inside the car.
I'm walking around the car, while it's armed, trying to calibrate the sensitivity. I put my whole upper body into the driver window, forgetting that it's armed, I set down the remote on the backseat floor, and pick up the motion detector to tweak the settings when the windows start going up. I get out but grab the keys from the seat and my left hand ends up getting stuck in the window.
After a few min, I use the key to open the door, which sets off the full alarm and put the key in the ignition to try to roll the window down. Since I wasn't done wiring it all up, the signal to roll the windows up stayed on and I couldn't roll the window down. So I had to put the key in, hit the valet button and disarm it, all while in an ackward posistion and freed myself. I was more cautious from then on.
Another time, shortly after moving, I came back from an hour drive and deceided to change the oil quick before I had to goto the airport. I had a recyclable container, with pan that drains into the inside. So I quick jack the car up and pull the oil plug and it drains. Then I notice the oil isn't draining into the container, and in a little bit it's going to spill over onto my new garage floor! With no tools, except a socket wrench, I had to put my hand into extremely hot oil to undo the plug on the container. I still dripped some oil on the floor and burned my hand slightly, but no major oil spill!
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04-27-2006, 02:00 AM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Atlanta GA
Posts: 1,403
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Dang Paragon, good thing you werent out on the trail or something. Another reason to always wheel with others.
__________________
00 H1 opentop (HMCO) Red/Tan, 6.5 Turbo Diesel, CTIS, 37x12.50 Cooper STT's
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04-27-2006, 04:50 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: PDX
Posts: 2,367,817
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Fine...
I was 7 or 8 years old, my parents had gone away for the weekend and my grandmother was baby-sitting. I got the brilliant idea to slide down the laundry chute from the top floor(3 stories). The top part of the chute was located in the lower part of a cupboard under a shelf. I'd always been fascinated with the idea of somehow being the first to conquer The Chute. So, I somehow contorted myself into the opening of the chute and slowly began to shimmy my way down. I think I was barefoot and had a short sleeved shirt on, so I had decent traction for the descent. I got down to the second floor opening and suddenly it dawned on me that the bottom of the chute came out in the basement ceiling. I decided to make a prudent exit on the 2nd floor. I got one leg out the chute door, but then got wedged in with my other leg past the opening and my upper torso above the door. I think I was in there for what seemed like 3-4 days(in reality it was probably 20-25 minutes ) trying to shimmy my way back up so I could get my other leg out and escape The Chute. After finally figuring out that I was screwed I broke down and sort of whimpered for my grandmother to come help me. I knew I was going to catch hell, so I waited & waited until I was absolutely sure I wasn't getting out without help. Anyway, Grandma pushed me a little further down the chute and then pretty much yanked me out - kind of like a breach birth.
Funny thing is that even though I lived with the notoriety of getting owned by The Chute, my youngest brother tried it when he was about 5. He didn't even make it to the 2nd floor before figuring out that he was screwed. I was in the family room watching tv while my dad read the paper. I heard this little whimpering voice calling for me, so I started looking around for my brother. I had heard some odd rustling around upstairs earlier, but hadn't put 2 & 2 together yet. I looked in the chute from the 2nd floor down to the basement, but nothing. Then I hear something above me and there's my little brother's feet. I start to run upstairs to see if I can pull him out, but as I'm running up the stairs I hear this whooshing noise and then a smack. He'd slipped from where he was and slid past the 2nd floor and landed on his butt in the laundry room in the basement. He lets out a yelp and starts to cry. He wasn't hurt at all, but cried more from the shock of landing on his butt and scaring himself. My dad hears the commotion, thinks I'm teasing my brother and jumps up to see what's going on. At the same time, I'm running back down the stairs from the 2nd floor then around to the stairs to the basement. My dad thinks I'm up to something and really starts yelling at me. I don't respond as I run downstairs to the basement to check on my brother. When I get down there he's figured out that he's ok and is just kind of whimpering & sniffling a bit. My dad goes upstairs to see what kind of trouble I've caused this time(take about guilty until proven innocent ) only to find no one up there. Long story short - he comes down to the basement thinking I've been torturing... err, harassing my youngest brother again, finds out what really happened and then chuckles a little bit before admonishing him. The infamous mantle of Owned by The Chute changed hands that day.
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04-27-2006, 11:07 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Federal penitentiary
Posts: 21,046
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Quote:
Originally posted by ShaggyX:
How come I never got to do any of the fun stuff like you guys are talking about? I feel like I have lived a sheltered life now. You guys crack me up.
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Shaggy,
Whey don't you start with some of your household cleaners consumption stories.
__________________
<({O})>
Fishing Again.
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04-27-2006, 11:08 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Federal penitentiary
Posts: 21,046
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Quote:
Originally posted by DRTYFN:
The infamous mantle of Owned by The Chute changed hands that day.
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This is how I feel about Hell's Gate since I had to get winched up the last part.
__________________
<({O})>
Fishing Again.
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04-27-2006, 11:11 AM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Fcuk 'em, leave 'em pissed
Posts: 1,282
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Quote:
Originally posted by DRTYFN:
Fine...
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Dumbass.
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04-27-2006, 11:13 AM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Fcuk 'em, leave 'em pissed
Posts: 1,282
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Quote:
Originally posted by CO Hummer:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by ShaggyX:
How come I never got to do any of the fun stuff like you guys are talking about? I feel like I have lived a sheltered life now. You guys crack me up.
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Shaggy,
Whey don't you start with some of your household cleaners consumption stories. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>Those don't count. That was just me putting on a show.
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04-27-2006, 01:15 PM
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Pretty good story, glad to hear that a hacksaw was not part of the solution.
S.
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04-27-2006, 02:01 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 24,247
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Ok, I take exception when my posts get moved around. What part of my original post was not General H2 related? As in "If it's about the H2 it can be discussed here"
I post my threads on the proper forums, moving this down to the general discussion was unnecessary as it was directly related to the front grill on my H2.
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04-27-2006, 02:03 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Federal penitentiary
Posts: 21,046
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MODERATOR,
Please move this thread to the H2 technical section. Thank you.
__________________
<({O})>
Fishing Again.
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04-27-2006, 02:16 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 24,247
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04-27-2006, 04:00 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Federal penitentiary
Posts: 21,046
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Wow,
Paragon is stupid in every section!!!
Nice!
__________________
<({O})>
Fishing Again.
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04-27-2006, 04:03 PM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Fcuk 'em, leave 'em pissed
Posts: 1,282
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WTF???????
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04-27-2006, 04:05 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,980
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__________________
Black Sheep Hummer Squadron
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04-27-2006, 04:06 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Federal penitentiary
Posts: 21,046
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Just documenting for when they change the stickie...
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Fishing Again.
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