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02-01-2008, 08:50 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 37,474
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Is this bad - Swallow
With only 13 days to go the wife is sick and tired of the cute little parasite in her belly and wants him out. Now!
What to do, what to do?
Yeah, she's walking and stuff like that and the contractions are happening and all the other junk that goes with it. But what to do to speed it up?
Well guess what, she found some info on the 'net (then it must be true, right?) that says consuming semen after a bj will induce labor. Yep, it encourages giving blowjobs and finishing the deed. Hummmmm...
Needless to say, I've been as supportive as I can of her and her decisions so who am I to step in and tell her it's just an old wives tale? That's just not right. She needs encouragement, you know. Confidence that she's doing the right thing.
In order to do my part, I've been doing my very best to remind her of this process every few hours. I mean, it's tough on me and my unit, so I'm really sacrificing too. I'm sure you all understand. This is a big commitment on my part having to have my pork sword slathered up with mouth juice every few hours. Then having to supply the necessary baby batter. It's tough. Really tough.
What do you think? I believe I'm doing the right thing by not telling her. I'd really hate to upset her.
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"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."---Thomas Jefferson
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02-01-2008, 08:59 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Brooklyn,NY,USA
Posts: 2,331
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Re: Is this bad - Swallow
You owe me for putting that site up on the interweb for you. 
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GO PENS
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02-01-2008, 09:07 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Anywhere you're not!
Posts: 5,006
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Re: Is this bad - Swallow
She is going to kill you once she can catch you. I love it.
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02-01-2008, 09:49 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Stouts Creek
Posts: 4,192
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Re: Is this bad - Swallow
You are a cruel dude!
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"For God so loved the world he gave his only son that whoever believe in him would not perish but have everlasting life. "
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02-01-2008, 10:29 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,195
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Re: Is this bad - Swallow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by BKLYNH2
You owe me for putting that site up on the interweb for you. |
are you serious?
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02-01-2008, 11:02 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 37,474
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Re: Is this bad - Swallow
Quote:
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Originally Posted by 3Hummer
are you serious?
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"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."---Thomas Jefferson
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02-01-2008, 11:34 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: In a FREE U.S.A. where Marxism, Socialism & Communism is not allowed !
Posts: 5,485
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Re: Is this bad - Swallow
Two things................
#1... you may NEVER GET LAID AGAIN ,, for the rest of your life
#2... we use to put a collar and leash on a dog due to welp and make them run behind the car (not to fast), it worked pretty good, you may want to try that on her...
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History, be it in 1 Year, 10 Years, a Hundred Years or One Thousand, will show that those people who voted for John McCain in the United States Presidental Election of 2008 were true patriots...
Last edited by RubHer Yellow Ducky : 02-02-2008 at 12:20 AM.
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02-01-2008, 11:51 PM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Where you live??
Posts: 1,947
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Re: Is this bad - Swallow
__________________
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I'm Gonna crazy you my body 
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02-02-2008, 12:50 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 5,081
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Re: Is this bad - Swallow
PLEASE NO PICS....AND withouot photgraphic evidence, i think you are lying......
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02-02-2008, 01:31 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: In my prime....
Posts: 2,549
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Re: Is this bad - Swallow
Man, don't listen to all these guys....that'd be a mistake.
I have 5 kids, so I'm talking from experience.
Yes your findings are correct.
Look, my advice is to calmly explain to her that your alleged findings will prove it'd be in her best interest.
AND, most importantly, at the expense of great personal pain, you being the loving, thoughtful, considerate husband that you are...will go above and beyond to provide the "all you can eat" buffet!
Again, hang tough brother...it might take 4-5 times a day for the next 2 weeks.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot it'll also relieve that dreaded post-partum depression....
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Alaska...If it's brown it's down!
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02-02-2008, 02:20 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 37,474
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Re: Is this bad - Swallow
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Originally Posted by Big Dad
Oh yeah, I almost forgot it'll also relieve that dreaded post-partum depression....
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Oh damn, man. You mean I have to keep this up AFTER the boy comes?
Well, in support of her, I guess I'll have to do it. Damn, just damn.
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"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."---Thomas Jefferson
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02-02-2008, 10:04 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,123
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Re: Is this bad - Swallow
You could also remind her that if she'd just done that in the first place, she wouldn't be in this position. 
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02-02-2008, 12:10 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Europe, Belgium, Waregem
Posts: 5,280
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Re: Is this bad - Swallow
What speeds things up :
1. black strong coffee
2. a loooooong walk
3. sex, yes sex ! No pics please !!!!
4. a good beating ! |
02-02-2008, 04:28 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 37,474
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Re: Is this bad - Swallow
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Originally Posted by frenzy1
2. a loooooong walk
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We were in Sears Thursday night and she was struggling. A security guard even asked if she needed to be wheeled out. 
__________________
"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."---Thomas Jefferson
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02-03-2008, 12:02 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Dallas, TX USA
Posts: 2,314
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Re: Is this bad - Swallow
ROFL
Quote:
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Originally Posted by frenzy1
What speeds things up :
1. black strong coffee
2. a loooooong walk
3. sex, yes sex ! No pics please !!!!
4. a good beating ! |
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