The Darwin Awards

[BKLYNH2]

Boy there are some real good ones in here.

Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the
Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

The Glorious Winner:



1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed
to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down
the barrel
and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.



And now, the Honorable Mentions:



2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a
claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence
sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the
machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the
space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the
20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental
hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received
from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply
trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for
change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun
and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer:
$15.
(If someone points a
gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?) (In California and most states, yes)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a
cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
run. So he lifted the c inder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit
the would-be
thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole
event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and
the woman
was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the purse snatcher. T hey put him in the car and
drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told
to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes,
officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 a.m. ,
flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man o rdered onion rings, the clerk
said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked
away.

***** A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****

10. When a man attempted to siphon
gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to
find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the
man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage
tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best
laugh he'd ever had.

[frenzy1]

[KenP]

From today:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,409965,00.html

A man who grabbed a knife to try to get his two young children out of a locked car died when he fell on the blade, Charlotte police said....

Lemus and his wife had dropped by their apartment briefly before planning an errand when they realized they had locked their children and keys in the car, authorities said.

The woman searched for spare keys and Lemus grabbed a large butcher knife he hoped to use to pry open a window, police said. Lemus fell down six stairs and landed on the knife, police said.

The woman got the children out with the spare keys.