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08-28-2007, 11:13 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Jul 2006
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Lawyer Jokes
It was cold here yesterday...
So cold I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets!
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08-28-2007, 12:01 PM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,132
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
I have a couple lawyers in the family. Lawyers like these jokes more than anyone.
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08-28-2007, 01:26 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Illinois
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
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08-28-2007, 02:17 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2003
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
The day after a verdict had been entered against his client, the lawyer rushed to the judge's chambers, demanding that the case be reopened, saying: "I have new evidence that makes a huge difference in my client's defense."
The judge asked, "What new evidence could you possibly have?"
The lawyer replied, "My client has an extra $10,000 I just found out about!" 
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08-28-2007, 02:32 PM
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
The wall between heaven and hell broke down, so God got on the phone and called the Devil. He said "I'll send a few guys, you send a few guys, and we'll get the wall fixed right away". The Devil denied this request only to be asked again. "You don't want people getting out, and I don't either. Send a few guys to fix the wall or I'll have to sue you." To which the Devil replied; "Oh yeah? Where are you going to get a lawyer?"
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08-28-2007, 03:05 PM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Apr 2006
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
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08-28-2007, 04:22 PM
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Virginia Beach
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
Quote:
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Originally Posted by SnakeH2
I have a couple lawyers in the family. Lawyers like these jokes more than anyone.
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thanx for the input.... |
08-28-2007, 05:25 PM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,132
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Agriv8r
thanx for the input....
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Just following your lead |
08-28-2007, 05:57 PM
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.
"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."
The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers -- we had $100 when we broke in!"
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08-28-2007, 05:57 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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Re: Lawyer Jokes
A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer.
The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?"
"Just send a bill for such advice" replied the lawyer.
On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 bill. That afternoon he received a $100 bill from the lawyer.
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