ASK AMY

[DRTYFN]

beyond belief.

Dear Amy:

I am a happily married 27-year-old woman about to have my first baby, and I am terrified because it isn't my husband's baby.

Last spring, another woman and I took a trip to the Bahamas. At the hotel, I had a massage and was seduced by the masseur. I tried to resist, but I guess I got carried away. I sort of cooperated once things got started.

After some prenatal tests, my doctor recently told me that the baby's blood type is different from both my husband's and mine, which means the baby is not his. When the baby is born, it will be very obvious: My husband and I are white, and the masseur is black.

I can't tell my husband; I think he would leave me. It's too late for an abortion. What can I do? Please advise me.

Pregnant and Scared

I appreciate the fact that you are assuming some responsibility for participating in this sexual encounter, which from the way you describe it sounds less like seduction and more like coercion to me. Or is this how you are justifying cheating on your husband? Only you can know.

This hotel employee should not be seducing, coercing or having sex with hotel guests during massage sessions. (Giving a consenting adult a cellphone number and hooking up off the premises is another matter.) If he coerced or forced you to have sex with him, you should have gone to hotel management immediately to prevent him from preying on other hotel guests. In addition to other tough decisions that you need to make fairly quickly, you also should be immediately tested for STDs.

You have to tell your husband about this. You simply have no choice. However, it would be helpful for you to rehearse this conversation with a trusted friend or professional counselor.

You and your husband should discuss this in a neutral environment. Planned Parenthood offers pregnancy and adoption counseling. Counselors working for this agency have seen it all, and you will not be judged. Your local Planned Parenthood office will immediately refer you to a counselor, and will be by your side while you and your husband walk this difficult path.

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