The Adventures of Ralph the Chicken!

[Big Dad]

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed
beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St.
Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph.'

Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be!
I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one
way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to
send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered
with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new
hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have
this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't
tell me you've never laid an egg before?'

'Never,' said Ralph.

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the
rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds
later, out popped an egg!

Ralph was overcome with emotion as he
experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was
overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a
smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout.....

'Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're $hitting in the
bed!