Night Driver System and electrical questions

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There are four pins on a relay... (there can be more...some will have dual 87 pins, but since they split your system into two relays, I'm guessing there is only one pin 87)
Pin 86 is normally used the hot for the relay and is used for the "trigger" circuit from the high beam headlamp, through the switch, especially if the switch has an illumination light.
Pin 85 is the ground for the relay, and can in some cases go to the switch, with the other circuit from the switch going right to ground.
Pin 30 is your high amp circuit from B+ (should also include a fuse as close to the power source as possible)
Pin 87 goes to the lights.

If your system allows the lights to come on at all times, pin 86 is probably coming from an ignition source, and you could just install the headlamp High Beam trigger wire to these two inputs on the relays.

However, I do not actually know your wiring, again. I'm JUST guessing.