The ANT & the GRASSHOPPER !!!

[RubHer Yellow Ducky]

The ant and the grasshopper
This one is a little different...Two Different Versions! Two Different Morals!

OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

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MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2008

[BKLYNH2]

No No No!
That's not how the ant gets done in.

You forgot about the Wasps managing the old money wall street firms, that sold credit default swaps to the frogs across the pond to offset the risk of subprime mortgages the new money banks, run by Praying Manti, gave to the grass hoppers, to buy mansions in the neighborhood next to the spiders.
The mansions were shown to them by realtor worms, who said the properties would be worth 10 times their present value in no time at all. Those properties were even appraised by blind moles who always found the homes to be worth as much as the worms said they were. Strangely none of the very smart Praying Manti ever questioned whether it was wise to lend money to lazy grasshopers, and the grass hopers were too lazy to figure out whether they could afford what they were doing, and so when the grass hoppers failed to pay back the loans on the mansions they could not afford, the banks were forced to foreclose on the home. Alas the homes the banks were now left holding, which were claimed to be appreciating assets as opposed to say....a home, which is something you use..... to live in....were not fetching 10 times more than what they did the day the banks loaned the money, in fact they weren't even worth what they were bought for. Probably because there were no more lazy grasshopers to sell to, and flies don't really like living next to spiders so they were not interested either. Anyway, it seems that our ant's boss, the caterpillar, who was also a hard worker and saved and invested his whole life had quite a sum invested in the old money wall street firms run by the wasps who found themselves on the hook for all the money the praying manti gave out for homes to grasshoppers that couldn't afford them. As a result the caterpillar's investments soon became almost worthless because all the money passed down to the grasshoppers was never coming back.
So, seeing how he had a pitance of his former investments the caterpillar became very risk averse and he scaled back his business drastically and one of the first to get laid off was the hard working ant. The ant, left his boss' office with his shoulders hung real low, full of worry, not knowing how he was going put food on the family table, or buy his daughter designer clothes, and his son the latest PS3 game. As the demoralized ant stepped out of the building he used to work at, for the last time .........

BAM!
I happened to be walking back home from my broker's office so pissed off about everything going on that I just had to squash the living daylight out of that stupid little ant!

[RubHer Yellow Ducky]

Boy, this sounds like a bunch of Wossy Bull Chit ...!

BRING THE DODGERS BACK TO BROOKLYN.................................