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11-02-2007, 10:42 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: In my prime....
Posts: 2,549
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The Adventures of Ralph the Chicken!
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed
beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St.
Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph.'
Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be!
I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one
way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'
Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to
send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered
with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new
hen, huh? How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have
this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't
tell me you've never laid an egg before?'
'Never,' said Ralph.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the
rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds
later, out popped an egg!
Ralph was overcome with emotion as he
experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was
overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a
smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout.....
'Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're $hitting in the
bed!
__________________
Alaska...If it's brown it's down!
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11-02-2007, 11:28 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: In a FREE U.S.A. where Marxism, Socialism & Communism is not allowed !
Posts: 5,485
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Re: The Adventures of Ralph the Chicken!
go back to joke telling school...
__________________
REMEMBER
History, be it in 1 Year, 10 Years, a Hundred Years or One Thousand, will show that those people who voted for John McCain in the United States Presidental Election of 2008 were true patriots...
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11-03-2007, 12:21 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: In my prime....
Posts: 2,549
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Re: The Adventures of Ralph the Chicken!
Fuk Sorry
I should have called it "Ralph the Duck!" but I figured it'd hit a little close to home?!
__________________
Alaska...If it's brown it's down!
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11-03-2007, 12:38 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: ENRAGEMENT FOR HIRE
Posts: 31,286
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Re: The Adventures of Ralph the Chicken!
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Big Dad
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed
beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St.
Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph.'
Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be!
I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one
way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'
Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to
send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered
with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new
hen, huh? How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have
this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't
tell me you've never laid an egg before?'
'Never,' said Ralph.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the
rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds
later, out popped an egg!
Ralph was overcome with emotion as he
experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was
overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a
smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout.....
'Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're $hitting in the
bed!
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AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! 
__________________
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
My Video Collectionez
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11-03-2007, 12:56 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Stouts Creek
Posts: 4,192
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Re: The Adventures of Ralph the Chicken!
aflaaack 
__________________
"For God so loved the world he gave his only son that whoever believe in him would not perish but have everlasting life. "
(John 3:16)
2006 H3 Slate Blue,Header,Jacked,CAI,Toyo35's,HHO.
Priors...
Explorer
Commander
71 Vette
You Name it!
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11-03-2007, 02:40 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,871
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Re: The Adventures of Ralph the Chicken!
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Big Dad
Fuk Sorry
I should have called it "Ralph the Duck!" but I figured it'd hit a little close to home?!
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11-03-2007, 04:11 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: I CAN BARELY SEE THE ROAD...
Posts: 4,624
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Re: The Adventures of Ralph the Chicken!
__________________
 Black Sheep Hummer Squadron( CenCal Chapter - Me, Myself, and I )
"OBAMA......Making Jimmy Carter LOOK GOOD!"
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11-03-2007, 12:30 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: In a FREE U.S.A. where Marxism, Socialism & Communism is not allowed !
Posts: 5,485
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Re: The Adventures of Ralph the Chicken!
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Big Dad
Fuk Sorry
I should have called it "Ralph the Duck!" but I figured it'd hit a little close to home?!
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That at least is funny...
kinda sounds like one of those Dirty Cartoon guys...
__________________
REMEMBER
History, be it in 1 Year, 10 Years, a Hundred Years or One Thousand, will show that those people who voted for John McCain in the United States Presidental Election of 2008 were true patriots...
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