Bill Maher

[HummerHippy]

I thought it'd be nice to give the apposing side a little airtime. I am told this is from Bill MAher recently...

But finally, New Rule: Controlling Congress is for closers. Listen up, Democrats, it's as simple as A-B-C. "Always Be Closing." First prize: subpoena power in the new Congress. Second prize: set of steak knives. Third prize: you're fired. The election is four days away and I'm through dicking around with you.

Here are the leads. Here are your talking points.

One: when they say Democrats will raise taxes, you say, "We have to because someone spent all the money in the world cutting Paris Hilton's taxes and not killing Osama bin Laden."

In just six years, the national debt has doubled. You can't keep spending money you don't take in. That's not even elementary economics. That's just called, "Don't be Michael Jackson."

Two: When they say the terrorists want the Democrats to win, you say, "Are you insane? George Bush has been a terrorist's wet dream." He inflames radical hatred against America and then runs on offering to protect us from it. It's like a guy throwing **** on you and then selling you relief from the flies.

Three: When they say, "Cut and Run" or "Defeat-ocrat," you say, "Bush lost the war. Period." All this nonsense - this nonsense about "the violence is getting worse over there because they're trying to influence the election"; no, it's getting worse because you drew up the postwar plans on the back of a cocktail napkin at Applebees.

And of course Democrats want to win. But that's impossible now that you've ethnically-cleansed the place by making it unlivable. Just like you did with New Orleans.

Four: When they say that actual combat veterans like John Kerry are denigrating the troops, you say, "You're completely full of ****." Remember when Al Gore caught all that flak for sighing and moaning during that debate? Yeah, don't do that. Just say, "You're full of ****." If I was a troop, the support I would want back home would mainly come in the form of people pressuring Washington to get me out of this pointless nightmare! That's how I would feel supported.

So when they say, "Democrats are obstructionists," you say, "You're welcome." Sometimes, good people have to intercede to prevent dire consequences. You wouldn't like to think of me as an obstructionist, but what if Roseanne had offered to sing?

So I would be happy to frame this debate as a fight between the obstructionists and the enablers. There's your talking point. Vote Republican, and you vote to enable George Bush to keep ruling as an emperor. A retarded, child emperor - but an emperor.

So, Democrats, you've got four days to get out there and close! And it's not about slogans this time. Although, when it comes to slogans, the only one I'm prepared to accept from the opposition is, "The Republican Party: We're Sorry."

[NEOCON1]

[BlueHUMMERH2]

[SnakeH2]

Maher sure thinks he's sharp. He just doesn't get it.

[f5fstop]

Simply put...Maher is an ass, and always will be.

[Wisha Haddan H3]

Bill Maher ... good stuff.

One thing I disagree with tho. Pulling unconditionally and immediately out of Iraq is as poor a strategy as what Bush wrote on that cocktail napkin at Applebees.

[DennisAJC]

I find myself agreeing with the hippie and gay fellow.





Kinda sounds like the start of a sick joke:

"What did the gay, hippie and Asian guy have in common???.............."

[deserth3]

Your entitled to your opinion. But I don't agree with you.

I was in the Military during the Clinton administation.... In my opinion President Bush has done a hell of a lot better job than Ex President Clinton.

Oh yeah... I think Maher is talking out his arse.

[Mrs.ssippi]

I really, really, do not like Bill Maher, actually I hate him. He is just an @sshole. One time he was on the Tonight Show and Jay Leno had some lady on with zoo animals. When Bill Maher came out he went off about keeping animals in zoos and how bad it was that Jay Leno would condone such. Please someone kick his soap box out from under him. @SSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sewie]

Originally Posted by Mrs.ssippi

Please someone kick his soap box out from under him. @SSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And make sure the rope around his neck is nice and tight when you do it.

[wpage]

Note to Bill Maher. New Rules...
1. When you masquerade as a news/comedy show do you really expect to be taken seriously when you are niether funny or informative.
2. For a premium price HBO program shouldn't you give your viewers more bang for their buck than Seinfeld?
3. You are a loser from Teaneck NJ who could not even pack a local theater on the East Coast. So should we care now?
4. When you are packing your panel with other drug addict losers and has beens should we listen to anything these puppets say?
5. KMA you leftist elitest condescending wanker!

[CO Hummer]

R.I.P. Bill Maher

[DRTYFN]

Maher was a piss poor, unfunny "comedian". Now he's a piss poor shill for the Left.

[DennisAJC]

Can't we all.........Jus git along?

[Mrs.ssippi]

Originally Posted by DennisAJC

Can't we all.........Jus git along?

I'm sure you like him, you piker!!!!!!!!!

[DennisAJC]

Originally Posted by Mrs.ssippi

I'm sure you like him, you piker!!!!!!!!!

MMMMMMWA!!!!!!

[ROX]

Originally Posted by DennisAJC

Can't we all.........Jus git along?

NEVER!

Bill Maher is a jackass! I tried to watch him once, and wound up almost killing the TV! UGH! All he can do is bring up John Kerry and Al Gore, two complete Losers, instead of offering anything/anyone else for the Liberals to get behind. So typical.

HummerHippy, thanks a lot. Now I gotta go take a valium.

[ROX]

Originally Posted by Mrs.ssippi

I'm sure you like him, you piker!!!!!!!!!

[Mrs.ssippi]

Originally Posted by H2 Rocks

NEVER!

Bill Maher is a jackass! I tried to watch him once, and wound up almost killing the TV! UGH! All he can do is bring up John Kerry and Al Gore, two complete Losers, instead of offering anything/anyone else for the Liberals to get behind. So typical.

HummerHippy, thanks a lot. Now I gotta go take a valium.

Wash down the valium with your Jack/Coke and have a happy happy night!!!!!

[DennisAJC]

I can't wait till we all get together again!!!!

I've found an excellent topic to bring up around teh campfire.