Happy Chanukah !!!!!!

[RubHer Yellow Ducky]

HAPPY CHANUKAH

Exhausted and overworked,

Santa Claus has decided to convert to Judaism to lessen his workload and decrease his stress.

Mr. Claus's first inkling that Judaism was his new intended path

was when he was unloading one particularly heavy bag of gifts

and muttered "Oy Oy Oy!"

instead of "Ho Ho Ho!"

Santa took this as divine inspiration

and began some serious reflection on the matter.

Mr. Claus sat down at his desk in the North Pole

and itemized the benefits

of bringing toys to Jewish children.

Most obvious

was that there were much less children to service,

approximately 3,000,000 Jewish children,

as opposed

to almost 500,000,000 Christian children.

The next obvious benefit

was that he had eight days of Hanukah

to deliver all of these gifts

instead of jamming the entire shipment into one night,

which constantly required the already weary Santa

to travel at the speed of light to accomplish the task.

Finally, the straw that broke the reindeer's back

was the realization that Jewish households had far more delicious cuisine to offer

Gefilte fish, chicken soup, blintzes, knishes and the like

are more palatable than the milk and cookies

he got bored of after the second century.

Circumcision won't be necessary for Santa,

because that's already been taken care of

in a freak accident involving frostbite

after getting stuck in a tight chimney.

Santa has left the frigid, brutal confines of the North Pole

and has begun his toy shop anew

in the sunny climes of Miami Beach, Florida.

He has fired all of those annoying elves

and replaced them

with nice Jewish retirees from New York.