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01-10-2007, 10:28 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Dallas, TX USA
Posts: 2,314
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REDNECK PICKUP LINES
1) Did you fart?
cuz you blew me away!
2) Are yer folks retarded?
cuz ya sure are special!
3) My love fer you is like diarrhea...
I can't hold it in!
4) Do you have a library card?
cuz I'd like to check you out!
5) Is there a mirror in yer pants?
cuz I can see myself in em!
6) If you 'n I were squirrels,
I'd store my nuts in yer hole! GEEZ!
7) You might not be the best lookin girl here,
But beauty is only a light switch away!
8) man says: "FAT PENGUIN"
woman says: 'WHAT"?
man says: " I just wanted to say something to break the ice"!
9) I know I'm no Fred Flintstone...
but I bet I can make yer bed rock! (dumb)
10) I can't find my puppy....can you help me find him?
I think he went inta this cheap motel room! hehe...
11) Yer eyes are blue...as window cleaner!
12) If yer gonna regret this in da mornin....
we can sleep in til the afternoon!
13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench....
every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up! WOOT!!
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01-10-2007, 02:11 PM
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Hummer Deity
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: In the basement of the Alamo
Posts: 10,855
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Re: REDNECK PICKUP LINES
Quote:
8) man says: "FAT PENGUIN"
woman says: 'WHAT"?
man says: " I just wanted to say something to break the ice"!
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That was cute- I might have gone for that one.  |
01-10-2007, 06:44 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 37,474
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Re: REDNECK PICKUP LINES
Quote:
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Originally Posted by h2co-pilot
That was cute- I might have gone for that one.
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But you DID go for this one:
Quote:
1) Did you fart?
cuz you blew me away!
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__________________
"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."---Thomas Jefferson
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01-10-2007, 06:53 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: ENRAGEMENT FOR HIRE
Posts: 31,286
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Re: REDNECK PICKUP LINES
Quote:
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Originally Posted by KenP
But you DID go for this one:
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And this one:
"OH! OH! 20 laps left!!!!"
CAN'T GET THE VISUAL OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!
__________________
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
My Video Collectionez
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01-10-2007, 11:55 PM
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Re: REDNECK PICKUP LINES
Not bad, but some are reruns  . |
01-11-2007, 01:15 AM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 1,075
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Re: REDNECK PICKUP LINES
Hey, you got the runs?
'cause you been runnin through my mind all day
(best i could think of on short notice)
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01-11-2007, 03:19 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: I CAN BARELY SEE THE ROAD...
Posts: 4,624
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Re: REDNECK PICKUP LINES
6) If you 'n I were squirrels,
I'd store my nuts in yer hole! 
__________________
 Black Sheep Hummer Squadron( CenCal Chapter - Me, Myself, and I )
"OBAMA......Making Jimmy Carter LOOK GOOD!"
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01-11-2007, 05:43 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,195
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Re: REDNECK PICKUP LINES
my favorite "Excuse me miss are you form tennesse cause your the only ten i see", another good one is "Is your dad a baker? cuase you've got nice buns", and "Excuse me miss i seemed to have lost my number can i have yours?", and another great one "Do your feet hurt cuase youve been running through my mind all day", and another "Did you fall from heaven, cuase your an angel", and another "Nice shirt can i talk you out of it", and just one more "nice legs what time do they open", and a great physical one to put your arm around a girl would be "if you were a pirate would your wear your parrot on this shoulder or this shoulder" and move your arm from her closer shoulder to next shoulder around her.
__________________
2003 H1 HMCS: Ocean Blue Metallic, Grey Leather Interior
2010 H3 Alpha: Canyon Metallic, Cashmere Interior
2017 VW Jetta S
2012 Cessna 182T Skylane
used to have: 2007 base H3 Slate Blue
/''T''|[___|___]
[---T--L -OlllllllO-]
()_)"""()_)/"**"\)_)
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01-11-2007, 07:31 AM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Deepest Darkest Depths of........
Posts: 1,684
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Re: REDNECK PICKUP LINES
This is a song about pickup lines done by Kevin Bloddy Wilson. If you want to hear this song just look up Kevin Bloody Wilson the Courtin Song These are the best ones I have ever heard:
Blown too much of me time buying dinner and wine
And me money on flowers and lollies
Only to find that what's on me mind
Isn't on hers and she's sorry
So I've made up some lines that save wastin' time
And keep me from blowin' me brass
I'm ever so cool I just prop on the stool
Right next to hers and I ask:
Chorus
'Do you fVck on first dates?
Does your dad own a brewery?
Could I feel your tits?
Or would you show 'em to me?
Cause you've you've got a nice head
And you look pretty honest
So me face'll be leavin' in a quarter of an hour--
I'd like you to be on it'
Verse 2
You know how it feels when you first meet a sheila
And the bullsh!t you've gotta go through
Like callin' her up and tellin' her you love her
When all that you'd love is just to screw
But she wants to hold hands and you to meet her old man
And sit around for hours and talk
But me new method is, you just cut through the sh!t
And get down to the goodies straight off:
Chorus
'Do you fVck on first dates?
Does your dad own a brewery?
Could I feel your tits?
Or would you show 'em to me?
Do you sleep in the nick?
Do you give head very often?
If we can decide, your place or mine
We can fvck off then'
Verse 3
So the next time you see a good-lookin' sheila
And you'd give a week's pay just to hold her
Don't sit acting dumb, just front her full-on
And drop a few lines like I told you
This new method of mine might not work every time
But then again no method will
I've been spat at and slapped, and kneed in the knackers
But then I've got a few fvcks as well
Chorus
'Do you fvck on first dates?
Does your dad own a brewery?
Could I feel your tits?
Or would you show 'em to me?
If the answer is 'No'
To me questions above --
Then be a good sport and give me the name
Of a girlfriend who does!'
__________________
2006 H2 w/6 inch lift.
2001 F-350 w/10 inch lift
2013 Jeep Wrangler w/6 inch lift
2013 Victory Cross Country
2006 Suzuki Hayabusa
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01-11-2007, 09:42 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba - Canada
Posts: 2,726
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Re: REDNECK PICKUP LINES
Quote:
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Originally Posted by bparker
1) 13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench....
every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up! WOOT!!
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__________________
BLACK \'04 H2 LUX
BLACK \'07 ESCALADE
I have BLING & am PROUD OF IT!
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