Omg my Gf sent me this, about hummer drivers

[guruerror]

I think the description of Hummer drivers is grossly inaccurate. Lets break this down:

'This is the Big Daddy A-Hole car.' CHECK: Nearly everyone who knows me calls me an a-hole; even my mother.

'He doesn't care about fossil fuels...' NOT TRUE: I'm very concerned about fossil fuels, I only put the highest quality fossil fuels in my truck.
'... or the environment...' NOT TRUE: I am extremely concerned with my immediate environment...and I don't like huggers in it.
'...or you.' CHECK: I would admit that I like my truck better than my girlfriend...but that could change; I could meet someone new.

'Not only will this guy cheat on you...' NOT TRUE: I learned long ago that one woman is enough of a pain; there is no way I would have two in my life at the same time.
'...he will also probably steal your dog...' NOT TRUE: Because then I'd have to feed it. Hell, I'd give her mine if she'd take it.
'...eat raw meat...' NOT TRUE: I prefer medium to medium/well
'...and vote Republican.' NOT TRUE: I'm not allowed to vote.

'Don't expect him to help with the kids or household' NOT TRUE: I live alone...so I do everything in my household.
'...but he might enjoy bringing home freshly killed venison.' CHECK: If I hunted.
'He may even share it.' MAYBE