Liquor warning labels approved!

[TootsSUT]

Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the
following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of
alcohol containers:

> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
> hell happened to your bra and panties.
>
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
> whispering when you are not.
>
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like
> a retard.
>
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends

> over and over again that you love them.
>
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can
> sing.
>
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
> ex-lovers are really dying for you to
telephone them at four in the morning.
>
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
> logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
>
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
> are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
>
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
> laughing WITH you.
>
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
>
> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting
> your ass kicked.
>
> WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye
> reel gode.