Already hating the H3s?

[KenP]

http://www.goingfaster.com/spo/you_m..._ricer_if.html

A few:

You have more exhaust decibels than your engine has horsepower.
You have aftermarket FRONT wheels for racing but stock rear wheels.
Your engine makes twice as much horsepower as torque.
17" rims up front, 13" out back on your FWD.
You ever painted your wheels to match the same color of your car.
You put your automatic car in neutral at every stoplight in order to roll it back and try to fool other people into thinking you have a manual transmission
DuPont gave up trying to figure out the shade you were asking for.
Your mod list includes stereo equipment, shifter handle, MOMO steering wheel, PIA driving lights, exhaust tip, but no REAL engine parts.
A chameleon lizard undergoes fewer shade changes than your custom paint scheme.
Your rims and tires are so large, that you have to install the tire / wheel from underneath the car because it simply won't fit in the wheel well going in from the side.
The dealer laughs when you bring your car back in for service under warranty, and you've only had it 6 months...
Your tires / rims stick out from the lip of your car by more than 1."
Your paint job is from the WRONG end of the color spectrum.
You installed spacers on your STOCK wheels and tires to get them to stick out past the fender.
You see cars like yours in a Shriner's Parade for Children and clowns are driving them.
You bring an empty Maxwell House coffee can with you to compare size when you shop for an aftermarket exhaust system.
Your Eclipse GS-T hardtop has a "SPYDER" emblem on the rear...
Your sum knowledge of suspension is: "the more negative camber, the better the handling."
You push your car through the staging lanes. That way, maybe you can break into the 16s by keeping the motor cool between runs.
You add a super tall rear wing, and a hundred pounds of aftermarket ground effects, neon and stereo yet you gut the interior and yank out the rear seat for weight savings.
Your rear wing AND your rear window have a third mount brake light...
The back lighting in the gauges in your A-pillar gauge pod work long before the actual gauges are hooked up.
You cut 4 coil springs and scrape the chassis on the ground. Sparks are cool when you corner at normal traffic speeds!
You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a parking lot.
You install clear corner and brake lights.
You install colored bulbs in your aftermarket clear lenses.
You ever put neon on the bottom of your car, and then busted it on the first speed bump you went over.
You painted the UNDERBODY of your car to match
If your rear spoiler is taller then you are.
if you can fit fist **** your exhaust tip...