YOU KNOW YOU OWN A HUMMER WHEN...

[Fastest H-Town Realtor]

You don't need a set of those gheyazz truck testicles to show the testosterone level of your ride...

While the hater is giving you go to hell looks, his chick is winking at you...

Someone giving you a "brake check" makes you stomp the gas. Damn their eyes get big.

Your wife slaps you because the 2 girls in the sports car are desperately trying for your attention.

The drive thru girl lets you take the food because you forgot your wallet and she knows your truck

The bank teller no longer asks for ID because they know who you are.

Local police wave to you.

Your automaticly the designated driver on office functions.

You gave up long ago trying to stop for those lemmings that pull out in front of you. (One actually drove over the curb to get out of the way!)

The BMW,Benz,etc dealrship salesguys run to you when you get into the lot. With keys.

Motorcyle riders will not cut in front of you at the redlight.

You pass up 5 different homes that were perfect for you and at a giveaway price because the garage doors were doubles.