Joke of the day

[KenP]

Breakdown of the corporate structure...
CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD:
Leaps tall building in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Discusses policy with God
PRESIDENT:
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with God
EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT:
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB.
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if special request is approved
VICE PRESIDENT:
Barely clears a Quonset hut
Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God
GENERAL MANAGER:
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by locomotive
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Dog paddles
Talks to animals
MANAGER:
Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotive two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can't stay afloat with a life preserver
Talks to walls
TRAINEE:
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter building
Says "look at the choo-choo"
Wets him/herself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to him/herself
SECRETARY:
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets in his/her teeth
Freezes water with a single glance Is God

[evldave]

Originally Posted by KenP

Breakdown of the corporate structure...
CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD:
Leaps tall building in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Discusses policy with God
PRESIDENT:
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with God
EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT:
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB.
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if special request is approved
VICE PRESIDENT:
Barely clears a Quonset hut
Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God
GENERAL MANAGER:
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by locomotive
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Dog paddles
Talks to animals
MANAGER:
Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotive two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can't stay afloat with a life preserver
Talks to walls
TRAINEE:
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter building
Says "look at the choo-choo"
Wets him/herself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to him/herself
SECRETARY:
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets in his/her teeth
Freezes water with a single glance Is God

I gave this one to my assistant. She thought it was so funny, thought she was gonna give me a BJ under the desk

[KenP]

Originally Posted by evldave

I gave this one to my assistant. She thought it was so funny, thought she was gonna give me a BJ under the desk

Glad I could help.... almost...

[Agriv8r]

Originally Posted by KenP

Glad I could help.... almost...

not sure that sounds right??

hahaha

[Agriv8r]

A senior citizen in Florida went down to the local
Chevrolet dealer and bought a brand new Corvette
convertible. Heading off the car lot and down the
road, he floored it and enjoyed the wind blowing
through what little hair he had left on his head.

"This is great," he thought as he roared down I-75.
Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a
highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights
flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him with no problem" thought
the man as he stood on the gas peddle -- 80, 120,
150, 170 mph. Then he thought, "What am I
doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing.." He
pulled over to the side of the road and waited for
the trooper to catch up with him. The trooper
pulled in behind the Corvette and walked up to the
man. !

"Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends
in 30 minutes and today is Friday. "If you can give
me a reason why you were speeding that I've
never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man looked at the trooper and said, "Years ago,
my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper, and I
thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir,"

[Agriv8r]

(pay close
attention to details!!)

So,...

Your wife decides to go out with her friends drinking and dancing.
You're okay with it because you get to watch sports all night. You hear
her stumble into bed around 4am. You wake up next morning and go outside to the family Volvo she drove last night. You are happy to see it all in one piece.

* But......... Wait a minute .............

[Agriv8r]

here it comes, dont be in a hurry it is worth the wait

[SnakeH2]

Originally Posted by Agriv8r

* But......... Wait a minute .............

You think..."Damn, my wife needs to loose some weight."