PLUTO

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THE TRUTH ABOUT THE PLUTO ELECTION....


Pluto Election Stolen!
Featured August 21, 2006

All the votes have been cast and many concerned scientists, plus three or four normal people, will be shocked to learn that the planet Pluto will continue to be called such after a vote by international astronomers. The losing side claims that the election was blatantly stolen by partisan scientists with ulterior motives.
Several incidents suggest voter suppression. In some universities, there were long lines, while in others, particularly in anti-Pluto districts, the voting machines were hidden. "They told me the machines were in the English department. I have no idea where that is," reported Dr. Dorcas Sanches of Cornell University.

Another astronomer who actually found machines at his university said that the ballot's wording was very confusing. "There weren't even any equations."

"I find that very doubtful," said lead election organizer Clyde Tombaugh. ?It was a yes/no question."

A quick read of the ballot shows something very different:

Be it resolved, that in these celestial matters, in order to achieve harmony and equality among all heavenly bodies, forthwith from this day as a bellwether of liberty and opportunity, that the planet of Pluto shall retain its tautological nature, technically, legally, semiotically, for ever, as protection from oppression and to turn back the tide of terror.

There were several documented hacking attacks of the electronic voting machines, admitted by manufacturer Diebold. The company said that any safeguards were easily bypassed by anyone with an engineering background. "Security in our voting machines is meant to mostly prevent fraud committed by eight-year-olds used to finding the easter eggs in their DVD's. Our security platform is not prepared against conniving PhD's."

Strategists in the anti-Pluto camp are quite disappointed. They've spent a fortune in attack ads, like this one:



Although there seems no reason to steal such an election, conservative astronomers place blame on liberals. "They're all about inclusion. They don't want anyone left out. Not only that, they want more planets to tax," grumbled Sir Lee Bottingham of Oxford.

US space agency NASA announced its disappointment with the decision, and plans to appeal. According to Administrator Michael Griffin, "we've been perfecting our comet-destroying technology since the movie Deep Impact. If Pluto isn't in fact a planet, we'd like very much to blow it up."

http://www.alldaycoffee.net/story.php/88

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LMFAO!!!!

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