(not the PUS*Y H2)

[thedefiantone]

Well?hello to the Elcova Forums. Yes, it?s me, the guy with the H1 ad on Craigslist that has enthralled and enflamed everyone on the site thanks to DOCHUMMER. I thought in fairness to all of you I would at least make a post and give you an opportunity to flame directly at me as I?m willing to read your remarks. G-Roy, was in fact kind enough to send the link to me, to what end I?m not sure, but, for the record, it was appreciated.

First off? so we?re clear, I actually like the H2 rig, not so crazy about the H3 (here comes another onslaught of posts). It?s certainly not a HMMWV in the strictest sense of the term, but, I think they?re nice looking rigs. The debate which you?ve all begun here is nothing more than a Ford vs. Chevy pissing contest (to which I?m sure all of you have heard or partaken in at some point). Furthermore, to quash some of the unfortunate and unfounded remarks about my personality based on the context of the ad, and the resounding belief that I apparently think I?m above everyone else because of my ?Super HMMWV?, let me stop that one right in it?s tracks?in fact, I?ll be the first one to say that the H1 is quite susceptible to getting stuck?and I mean HOPELESSLY stuck in the mud (I speak from experience?A LOT of it); I?d be happy to share the PICs and be teased incessantly by all of you (with a couple of exceptions which I address in a moment) and probably be told by a number of you how your H2 has breezed through worse than what I was stuck in. Furthermore, I?ll bet I?ve gotten this thing stuck in places an H3 WOULD breeze right through due to its lighter weight. So?I know well enough that the FAT ASS of the H1 has its draw backs. Oh?and to get out of the mud, while it took hours to do?it was done with the help of a Chevy S15 pickup. So we?re clear, I don?t think the truck is the end all be all of trucks?I was saved by an S15 and I can admit that freely.

To the remark that I need attention?well, that part actually is true! I do, like everyone else on this site that has tricked out their H2, appreciate and like attention that we all get from our rigs, that?s why we bought these things? it certainly wasn?t for the gas mileage (with the possible exception of the H3)! Additionally, I?m hung like a tic-tac, so, I had to buy a huge truck to compensate for my lacking penis size. I?d considered buying a semi at one point (bigger truck to REALLY compensate), but, I couldn?t figure out how to get it in the garage.

To my new friend DRTYFN, I?m sure that the folks of Aumsville would be very appreciative of your offhanded remarks about the town of Aumsville, ?Oh, never mind. It's out in Buttcrack Methville.? Hello, Pot, this is the Kettle calling. Here?s someone that has the audacity to get flamed because I referenced the PUS*Y H2, then posts about how offended he is, and THEN turns right around and condemns an entire town (one I?ll bet he?s never been to nor has any actual knowledge of) in the same way he?s pissy about with me and my post.

I would like to say to GLBLWRMR, your remark was really the best (and I mean it sincerely), ?You know you are a loser when you are the retard that the other retards make fun of!!!? I thought it was one of the cleverest...and, I will take that to heart!

CO Hummer, while I?m certain you?re intent wasn?t to stick up for me (being the AZZHAT I apparently am), I did appreciate your ?It's no different than when we sell our H2s and mention that it's no pu*sy H3.? I think that?s something that everyone in the room should take a moment or two to contemplate.

Boar-Ral?while I?m not married, I?m sure you probably have hit at least a few of the girls I?ve been with?unfortunately I wasn?t always as selective as I should/could have been in my days, so, there?s a good chance the numbers would pan out and your statement is in fact true. Additionally, due to my infinitesimally small penis (see above), I?m not yet married, but, I will however be sure to post again when I do actually get married and we can determine if the wife IS someone you know, er, excuse me, ?I've probably had his wife's back to the ground more than the tires on his rig.??one thing for certain though, you should perhaps be a little less judgmental and sure to know whom you?re dealing with before you spout off. While you may think confronting me about my remarks would elicit the following, ?It wouldn't make a difference. I have dealt with enough people like this to know that their response will be along the lines of, "Well, I own an H1 and you don't, so that is why you are upset. Nyah."?, I believe the length and detail of this post has indicated otherwise, ergo, I think it safe to say now you?ve NOT dealt with enough ?people like this?.

Here?s what I don?t find humorous about this?folks writing things like ?Let's trick him into thinking one of us it interested in buying, then get like 50 H2/H3s to show up and stomp the **** out of him, then steal the title and his truck.? It?s not the statement that bothers me, nor is it because of genuine concern of it happening. I find it troubling that this is the type of reply some folks would actually post and think is acceptable. If you want to rip on me for my ad, please feel free?I can take the heat, but to make remarks such as yours, and for those who thought it acceptable, you?re the folks that I would be wary of for the rest of your group. You?re the folks that take the fun out of this?

In closing, I hope that this can clear the air a bit about who and what I?m about. I would say ?I?m sorry? for any offense I may have created, but, I don?t think this truly warrants an apology. As I said above, it?s no more than the old Chevy vs. Ford thing and I certainly meant nothing malicious about it. Again, while I?m jabbing at the H2 and H3?s, I know that if my trucks BIG FAT ASS got stuck in the mud (AGAIN?did I mention how easily I can get an H1 stuck??? I could actually teach classes on it!), it would probably take 2 or 3 H2?s to get me out due to the H1?s weight alone.

Let?s take a line from the monkey in Planet of the Apes, shall we, ?Can?t we all just get along??? Frankly, I?d bet some of you would be a great deal of fun to go out off roading with, assuming you go with the understanding that you?ll have to pull me out of something at some point, I?m certain of that! I?m sure this will lead to a number of additional posts, hopefully which will be more constructive?some of which I?m sure will be trying to figure out a way to once again prove that I really am some giant AZZHAT (I like that?that?s a good one?), but, sadly, and in a very boring way, I?m not, but I appreciate the attention!

?and for the record, the mechanical bull is a lot of fun! Party at Michaels house?1 H1, 50-60 H2?s and H3?s, a mechanical bull?oh yeah, and one AZZHAT!

See you in the mud?just please bring a tow strap.
Michael

[geeroy10]

cliff notes?

[thedefiantone]

Incidentally, for those who think it's a horrible sales pitch....while it may not be the most friendly to the H2/H3 community, you'd be surprised (or perhaps not if you really thought about it) at the number of folks who have in fact responded to the ad and who, while you may think MY remark was offensive, had a ball tearing on the H2 and H3 rigs...

Now that I think about it, this debate is probably much more deep than the old Chevy vs. Ford debate...there are some definitive lines drawn in the mud on the H1 vs. H2 thing...

PS: Swampers on an H1 in snow aren't always the most practical either....

[Boar-Ral]

Originally Posted by thedefiantone

Well?hello to the Elcova Forums. Yes, it?s me, the guy with the H1 ad on Craigslist that has enthralled and enflamed everyone on the site thanks to DOCHUMMER. I thought in fairness to all of you I would at least make a post and give you an opportunity to flame directly at me as I?m willing to read your remarks. G-Roy, was in fact kind enough to send the link to me, to what end I?m not sure, but, for the record, it was appreciated.

See you in the mud?just please bring a tow strap.
Michael

When you have more time and read several of the threads in the forums, I think that you will find that everyone is treated pretty equally. I think everyone has flamed everyone at some point. In general, though, we all get along quite well. Usually. I think it turned out that the post linking to your auction was simply one of the first threads people read today.

That being said, we all say a lot, we all talk a lot, but we really are quite open-minded. Yeah, I say things, without obviously knowing the facts, in an effort to get a chuckle from someone, but no one actually thinks I am serious about these things.

Coming here does take courage, though -- even on the internet -- and it was cool of you to post. I think a few things will be straightened out in the coming posts. Unfortunately, I do not think I will be able to take you up on the offer to go wheeling, because I live out in the sticks even more than most of the members here -- even Dennis! (Though we are almost neighbours.)

Not really sure else what to say, but, uh, welcome?

[thedefiantone]

Thanks for the reply...and thank you for the praise on coming to the site to face all of this. I'm glad to have heard back from you already...and, for the record, you remarks were the most fun to address...we'll have to send notes back and forth on the names sometime!! ;-)

I do look forward to reading the upcoming posts...I'm sure they will garnish a smile or two from me over the holiday weekend!

PS: Did I mention I'm REALLY GOOD at getting an H1 stuck! :-) Maybe that should be my new screen name...H1STUCKINMUD!

[Boar-Ral]

Originally Posted by thedefiantone

Thanks for the reply...and thank you for the praise on coming to the site to face all of this. I'm glad to have heard back from you already...and, for the record, you remarks were the most fun to address...we'll have to send notes back and forth on the names sometime!! ;-)

I do look forward to reading the upcoming posts...I'm sure they will garnish a smile or two from me over the holiday weekend!

PS: Did I mention I'm REALLY GOOD at getting an H1 stuck! :-) Maybe that should be my new screen name...H1STUCKINMUD!

It's a quiet day at work today, so I'm fast to respond, hehe.

I wheel with a few different Hummers, so I can relate to how badly they can get stuck, regardless of whether it is H1, H2, or H3. Though in general, the heavier the rig, the worse it is, and I've been with friends and their H1s where it has taken hours to get them pulled out, even with a couple winches and recovery straps and secure footing in the front and back for the recovery vehicles.

[thedefiantone]

AMEN to that....I think the worst of it took about 5 hours, 4 people and all we had was that poor S15. We beat on that thing so bad we blew up the water pump minutes after the H1 got pulled out...not to mention the chain that broke during one of the YANKS and came back to bust the drivers side windshield (there's a fun $1000.00 out the, er, WINDOW!). I'll bet those "PUS*Y H2's" were smart enough to have windshields that don't cost as much as some small countries annual defense budget!!! :-)

[Boar-Ral]

Originally Posted by thedefiantone

AMEN to that....I think the worst of it took about 5 hours, 4 people and all we had was that poor S15. We beat on that thing so bad we blew up the water pump minutes after the H1 got pulled out...not to mention the chain that broke during one of the YANKS and came back to bust the drivers side windshield (there's a fun $1000.00 out the, er, WINDOW!). I'll bet those "PUS*Y H2's" were smart enough to have windshields that don't cost as much as some small countries annual defense budget!!! :-)

Fortunately the only casualty was a water pump and a windshield. I recently read that someone, in Colorado, I believe, was killed when a tow hook broke off and the strap and hook went through the windshield during a recovery.

While the H1 windshield does cost more, I like that there is the option of having it heated. (More of an issue here in Canada.)

[thedefiantone]

Funny you should say that about the windshield...the chain actually hit right i front of my face...scared the SH*T out of me...I remember thinking I couldn't beleive that it didn't end up in my nose. That was the moment that the night turned NOT SO FUN....the extraction started at about 2am and went until sun up...

Hey...have to get running...so, probably can't post anymore today. I'll be back in a day or two though to see what fun has transpired! Thanks again for your kind words...and, I'll keep you updated on the wife situation! ;-)

[HUMMERcustoms.com/TAZ]

I have not been flamed but, I try not to be inflamitory unless the cause would really call for it. I have defend My Buds though.

But, before anyone get's feeling like flaming TAZ may I request with KENP's approval that I be allowed the privilege of being flamed first by the sultry tongue with an extreme vocabulary. One of My favorite people I know on the forum. She will do it with Her extreme wit and imagination. The Lucious and I would guess one of the most beloved Forum members and My secret gal, except that KENP set us up out of pitty for Me. The fantastic, the one and only Miss Co-Pilot.

So My friend Ken if You would give the most impressive looking, You lucky dog and how You lucked into this situation I will never figure it out even though You have tried to explain. Just proves even more that you do not know how You lucked into catching My Co-Pilot. Well anyway I humbly ask you let the most extrodinary Miss Co-Pilot flame Me.

If anyone remembers the very quite heart breaking description of Her drive back a year or so ago, which I obviuosly have not forgotten it. She was beginning to adapt to the Ligenfelter powered Black Beauty H2 and decided to desribe He trip to the local tanning bed, will understand why I request for KEN My Buddy to allow Me this one priviledge to allow Co-Pilot to flame me.
Thank You KEN,

TAZ

Originally Posted by Boar-Ral

When you have more time and read several of the threads in the forums, I think that you will find that everyone is treated pretty equally. I think everyone has flamed everyone at some point. In general, though, we all get along quite well. Usually. I think it turned out that the post linking to your auction was simply one of the first threads people read today.

That being said, we all say a lot, we all talk a lot, but we really are quite open-minded. Yeah, I say things, without obviously knowing the facts, in an effort to get a chuckle from someone, but no one actually thinks I am serious about these things.

Coming here does take courage, though -- even on the internet -- and it was cool of you to post. I think a few things will be straightened out in the coming posts. Unfortunately, I do not think I will be able to take you up on the offer to go wheeling, because I live out in the sticks even more than most of the members here -- even Dennis! (Though we are almost neighbours.)

Not really sure else what to say, but, uh, welcome?

[dеiтайожни]

WTF. Are you drunk? That was the longest post ever, to just say a name.

[HUMMERcustoms.com/TAZ]

Originally Posted by dеiтайожни

WTF. Are you drunk? That was the longest post ever, to just say a name.

Point being?

TAZ

[dеiтайожни]

No point?

[HUMMERcustoms.com/TAZ]

Ok cool.

Just working an old and sort of inside joke that newer members would not know about. If I can get Co-Pilot to oblige You all would be in for a treat on her part and be appreciative that she did Her thing even though she may be reposting the old treat and flaming Me for bringing it up. Plus if any have seen a glimpse of this woman You would understand it would not even be barely stretching the truth concerning the description about herself.

TAZ