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02-02-2007, 09:53 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Dallas, TX USA
Posts: 2,314
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These are great!
Why, Why, Why,
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping
cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it
isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when
we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering
from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if
they're okay, then it's you.
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02-02-2007, 10:57 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 37,474
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Re: These are great!
__________________
"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."---Thomas Jefferson
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02-03-2007, 12:07 AM
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Hummer Professional
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Out in the windy oil field
Posts: 358
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Re: These are great!
__________________
H3 / Superior Blue / Black Leather / Lux / Off-road / Sunroof / Tow-package / OEM rock rails / Aries Brushguard and Nerf bars (modified) / Husky mud flaps / 2.5 turns / Rino GPS dashmount
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02-03-2007, 01:38 AM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,326
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Re: These are great!
Hahaha. I like that last one.
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02-03-2007, 01:48 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Out West
Posts: 2,539
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Re: These are great!
__________________
2008 H2 Graystone Metallic
2006 H3 Black (sold)
previously known as Hmmm3
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02-03-2007, 02:14 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 5,081
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Re: These are great!
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02-03-2007, 02:29 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: ENRAGEMENT FOR HIRE
Posts: 31,286
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Re: These are great!
Print. 
__________________
.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
My Video Collectionez
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02-03-2007, 03:08 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Out West
Posts: 2,539
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Re: These are great!
Quote:
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Originally Posted by DennisAJC
Print. |
Dennis, why is your muffin half eaten? Or, is it 'half there'.  Is it a muffin?
__________________
2008 H2 Graystone Metallic
2006 H3 Black (sold)
previously known as Hmmm3
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02-03-2007, 03:56 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: ENRAGEMENT FOR HIRE
Posts: 31,286
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Re: These are great!
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Hmmm3
Dennis, why is your muffin half eaten? Or, is it 'half there'. Is it a muffin? |
It's a molested muffin.
And that's not icing.  
__________________
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
My Video Collectionez
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02-03-2007, 05:34 AM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Cape Canaveral
Posts: 1,808
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Re: These are great!
its a Key West Muffin...
__________________
Theres a hole in my head, where the rain comes in
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02-03-2007, 06:55 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,195
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Re: These are great!
Theres a simple explination for a few but the ones i enjoyed reading most were the Kamikazee pilot one, the lethal injection one, the first one, and the one about superman
__________________
2003 H1 HMCS: Ocean Blue Metallic, Grey Leather Interior
2010 H3 Alpha: Canyon Metallic, Cashmere Interior
2017 VW Jetta S
2012 Cessna 182T Skylane
used to have: 2007 base H3 Slate Blue
/''T''|[___|___]
[---T--L -OlllllllO-]
()_)"""()_)/"**"\)_)
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02-03-2007, 07:00 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Out West
Posts: 2,539
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Re: These are great!
Quote:
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Originally Posted by DennisAJC
It's a molested muffin.
And that's not icing. |
Oh. ( )
__________________
2008 H2 Graystone Metallic
2006 H3 Black (sold)
previously known as Hmmm3
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