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12-09-2006, 08:45 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 37,474
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Haircut OMG!!!!
I went to the barbershop up the street to get my hairs cut and was promptly seated in Greene's chair. He seems to be a nice old codger, but I'm pretty antisocial in these settings so as long as he doesn't want to chat, he's ok with me.
I tell Greene I want a #4 on the sides, a little longer on the top and taper the back. My usual.
"Yes sir", he says and procedes to spend an inordinate amount of time getting the shears ready. Curious, I turn around and see him struggling with the attachment. WTH? Look at him s-H-a-K-i-n-G. Holy crap!!!
It's together and he's lurching for my head! Change of plans... NOW!!! "Hey Greene, just make it a #4 all over."
"Yes sir."
Phew. I was proud. I avoided what was sure to be a disaster. He's doing a nice, albeit slow, job. He even put some mousse in my hair to pull up the stragglers and recut it. Nice.
WRONG!!! Then it hits me like a Mack truck hitting a duck; he still has to clean up my neck and around my ears and the barbers here use a straight blade!!! Maybe he won't use it....
CRAP!!!! He's sharpening the damn thing. Just slapping it back and forth on the leather like a hungry butcher. Damn, damn, damn...
My hands clinch my pants as he lurches in to battle my goose bump covered neck. I can hear and feel the blade as it moves up and down. WTH was that? It's not supposed to go SIDEWAYS!!! Is that blood I feel? What's going on back there? This is taking forever!!! Please, please, please, just finish...
Then it really hit me. Those balloon-in-a-hurricane hands with that Samuari sword still have to trim around my ears!!! OMFG!!!!
He finishes the neck one hair at a time, one goose bump at a time. My teeth are grinding.
He moves to my side and grapples with my ear. Ah-ha, got it!!! Damn, this isn't good. I think I chipped a tooth.
As he attempts to work behind my ear I glance up to the mirror and notice the horror on my face. Clinched mouth, squinty eyes, red face.
I see a waiting woman staring at me with nearly the identical look. She knows she's watching a train wreck. I think I see a tear.
Scrape, scrape, scrape as he grunts his way through... one hair at a time...
One ear to go and he'll be done.
Oh no!!! I shouldn't have looked in the mirror again. He's brandishing the blade like a kid waving at Sponge Bob!!! OMFG just kill me now!!!
Greene uses his meathook of a hand and struggles to seize my ear. He's got it and off he goes. Lay a piece of tuna in front of him blindfolded and you'd have a fine piece of sushi in no time. Is that blood? No...
He's done!!!! That's it. I jump up, grab the airgun and hose off, pay, tip and I'm outta there!!!!
__________________
"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."---Thomas Jefferson
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12-10-2006, 12:29 AM
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Hummer Authority
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Where you live??
Posts: 1,947
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Re: Haircut OMG!!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by KenP
I went to the barbershop up the street to get my hairs cut and was promptly seated in Greene's chair. He seems to be a nice old codger, but I'm pretty antisocial in these settings so as long as he doesn't want to chat, he's ok with me.
I tell Greene I want a #4 on the sides, a little longer on the top and taper the back. My usual.
"Yes sir", he says and procedes to spend an inordinate amount of time getting the shears ready. Curious, I turn around and see him struggling with the attachment. WTH? Look at him s-H-a-K-i-n-G. Holy crap!!!
It's together and he's lurching for my head! Change of plans... NOW!!! "Hey Greene, just make it a #4 all over."
"Yes sir."
Phew. I was proud. I avoided what was sure to be a disaster. He's doing a nice, albeit slow, job. He even put some mousse in my hair to pull up the stragglers and recut it. Nice.
WRONG!!! Then it hits me like a Mack truck hitting a duck; he still has to clean up my neck and around my ears and the barbers here use a straight blade!!! Maybe he won't use it....
CRAP!!!! He's sharpening the damn thing. Just slapping it back and forth on the leather like a hungry butcher. Damn, damn, damn...
My hands clinch my pants as he lurches in to battle my goose bump covered neck. I can hear and feel the blade as it moves up and down. WTH was that? It's not supposed to go SIDEWAYS!!! Is that blood I feel? What's going on back there? This is taking forever!!! Please, please, please, just finish...
Then it really hit me. Those balloon-in-a-hurricane hands with that Samuari sword still have to trim around my ears!!! OMFG!!!!
He finishes the neck one hair at a time, one goose bump at a time. My teeth are grinding.
He moves to my side and grapples with my ear. Ah-ha, got it!!! Damn, this isn't good. I think I chipped a tooth.
As he attempts to work behind my ear I glance up to the mirror and notice the horror on my face. Clinched mouth, squinty eyes, red face.
I see a waiting woman staring at me with nearly the identical look. She knows she's watching a train wreck. I think I see a tear.
Scrape, scrape, scrape as he grunts his way through... one hair at a time...
One ear to go and he'll be done.
Oh no!!! I shouldn't have looked in the mirror again. He's brandishing the blade like a kid waving at Sponge Bob!!! OMFG just kill me now!!!
Greene uses his meathook of a hand and struggles to seize my ear. He's got it and off he goes. Lay a piece of tuna in front of him blindfolded and you'd have a fine piece of sushi in no time. Is that blood? No...
He's done!!!! That's it. I jump up, grab the airgun and hose off, pay, tip and I'm outta there!!!!
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THIS THREAD IS WORTHLESS WITHOUT PICS ......HAHAHA
__________________
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I'm Gonna crazy you my body
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12-10-2006, 12:57 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: florida
Posts: 2,606
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Re: Haircut OMG!!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewHummerGuy
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I bet it was something like this... if not this.
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