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08-01-2005, 09:42 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Green Mountains
Posts: 2,823
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If you have ever been caught doing something...crazy like off roading where you probably should not...what was your excuse?
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'05 Stealth Gray SUT
A Mellow Mix of Black & Bling
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08-01-2005, 10:17 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 59
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one time an Oregon statie caught me and DRTYFN torturing innocent little kittens out in the woods behind his house. We smashed their tiny skulls with ball peen hammers, and DRTYFN even punted one like a football because he said it **** on the hood of his precious H2.Needless to say, i blamed it all on him, but the cop let us go after DRTYFN kindly gave the officer the blow job of his life.
Then there was the time that me and Paragon got pulled over on the way to the secret lodge with that billy goat in back of my F350 powerstroke turbo diesel. Paragon gave him the handshake and we were good to go.
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\"It\'s all about prestige,\" Marty Bernstein
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08-01-2005, 10:23 PM
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Hummer Deity
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: In the basement of the Alamo
Posts: 10,855
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Quote:
Originally posted by VTSTOMPER:
If you have ever been caught doing something...crazy like off roading where you probably should not...what was your excuse?
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Okay VT, whadya do?  |
08-01-2005, 10:46 PM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: PDX
Posts: 2,367,817
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Quote:
Originally posted by gorton:
one time an Oregon statie caught me and DRTYFN torturing innocent little kittens out in the woods behind his house. We smashed their tiny skulls with ball peen hammers, and DRTYFN even punted one like a football because he said it **** on the hood of his precious H2.Needless to say, i blamed it all on him, but the cop let us go after DRTYFN kindly gave the officer the blow job of his life.
Then there was the time that me and Paragon got pulled over on the way to the secret lodge with that billy goat in back of my F350 powerstroke turbo diesel. Paragon gave him the handshake and we were good to go.
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And then there was this time that a Texas Trooper caught Brad getting sodomized by 3 guys at once. he kept screaming "Call me a Goatse little attention whore!!!" over & over at the top of his cum filled lungs. Then his uncle/daddy came and picked him up New Jersey Meat Hook style and carried him home where the real "fun" started.
Oh yeah, forgot- it was in a 2002TJ.
Stupid dick. |
08-01-2005, 10:49 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Green Mountains
Posts: 2,823
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Quote:
Originally posted by H2co-pilot:
Okay VT, whadya do?
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I was out on a local, well traveled trail when some how I must had gone right when I should had gone left. Well this other guy I was with in a 80's Scrambler got a little close to a drainage ditch. *whump* I see him in the rear view mirror slide into a deep ass swampy ditch. Well he is not really "treading lightly" trying to get out of there, so I put the truck in park and hop out. As I am walking down this guy comes flying out of the woods with a shovel swearing up a storm. I totally thought he was going to start slapping the jeep or one of us with the shovel.
He comes over to Phil (my friend that was there) and he is like “You F*@king a$$holes are the most stupid mother F#%!@ERS I have ever seen in my life. Don’t you know your on private land, and I could send both of you to jail for a long time. Not to mention I have to get my tractor our and fix this F*ucking ditch because you $hit heads F*cked it all up!
(good thing he didn’t see the hummer around the corner or he really would have been pissed  )
So I get behind him, and he got a little more quiet…started to chill out and then I asked him what we could do, in a calm voice. I controlled the situation by being humble and explaining that we had taken a wrong turn, and there really was no signs telling us there was no trespassing out this way. I told him our main goal was to get out of there, and we would be out of his way.
Well he was pretty low key after that and even helped us get the jeep out. I went so far as to ask him if we could buy him some grass seed for his ditch. He said no, and I was happy with that! : ) It was not like it made a huge mess.
I honestly thought there was going to be some kind of beat down going on, and I was shaking with adrenalin. I am not one for fights…but I was looking around for a stick of something when I saw that shovel headed at us at mock stupid.
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'05 Stealth Gray SUT
A Mellow Mix of Black & Bling
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08-01-2005, 11:58 PM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 6,358
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Watch out for them there flying shovels
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I don't care about the "Jeep thing"  as long as my mail is on time!!!
Slate Blue H3 Adventure w/sunroof, Monsoon/NAV, DVD and marker lights
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08-02-2005, 12:03 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Green Mountains
Posts: 2,823
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Quote:
Originally posted by HummerNewbie:
Watch out for them there flying shovels
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*cling - POW!* LOL! 
So no one else has a real crazy story?
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'05 Stealth Gray SUT
A Mellow Mix of Black & Bling
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08-02-2005, 12:10 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: ENRAGEMENT FOR HIRE
Posts: 31,286
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I do have a story about a toe....
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
My Video Collectionez
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08-02-2005, 12:19 AM
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Hummer Professional
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Pinehurst, NC
Posts: 461
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Quote:
Originally posted by gorton:
one time an Oregon statie caught me and DRTYFN torturing innocent little kittens out in the woods behind his house. We smashed their tiny skulls with ball peen hammers, and DRTYFN even punted one like a football because he said it **** on the hood of his precious H2.Needless to say, i blamed it all on him, but the cop let us go after DRTYFN kindly gave the officer the blow job of his life.
Then there was the time that me and Paragon got pulled over on the way to the secret lodge with that billy goat in back of my F350 powerstroke turbo diesel. Paragon gave him the handshake and we were good to go.
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I am just about sick and god damn tired of mother ****ers like you. You are a complete disgrace to human beings. If you don't have anything decent to say, then STFU. I hope you rot in hell.
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Black Lux H2
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08-02-2005, 12:21 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Green Mountains
Posts: 2,823
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Quote:
Originally posted by Alec W:
I broke a tie-rod once and someone taped it
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I bet if you had $1.00 for every time that vid made it on a forum...you could buy a small country! That is just crazy! LOL I admit the first time I saw it was on a motorcycle forum when people were busting my balls about wanting an H2. Um...yeah, didn't stop me!
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'05 Stealth Gray SUT
A Mellow Mix of Black & Bling
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08-02-2005, 12:31 AM
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Hummer Guru
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Green Mountains
Posts: 2,823
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Oh no kidding? That is pretty cool! I remember when I first got here (before I bought mine) and saw the pics of your truck. I remember thinking to myself...that looks like the one from the video.
I really like what you have done with the truck!
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'05 Stealth Gray SUT
A Mellow Mix of Black & Bling
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08-02-2005, 01:05 AM
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Hummer Professional
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Norman, OK
Posts: 389
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I sunk my F250 in a construction project once in college... My buddy and I "borrowed" a dumptruck from the site to pull us out...
We wiped the wheel off and ****...
...a couple of weeks later we sunk his in a nearby spot in the same project, only no nearby dump truck...
We came back the next day and asked if they would kindly pull his truck out with their steam shovel thingy and they did...
then they asked me if I knew anything about a dumptruck...?
...of course I told them it was my "other buddy" and fled the scene...
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08-02-2005, 01:16 AM
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Hummer Deity
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: In the basement of the Alamo
Posts: 10,855
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Good one VT, I knew you did something.
I have a story about a construction site. A local guy with a Hummer, tore up an area that was dug out for the foundation and had pipes sticking up that he ruined. He owned a gas station nearby and the cops just followed the mud over to the parked H2. I remember he got in trouble. Ken could probably elaborate more. |
08-02-2005, 01:24 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: ENRAGEMENT FOR HIRE
Posts: 31,286
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Quote:
Originally posted by H2co-pilot:
Good one VT, I knew you did something.
I have a story about a construction site. A local guy with a Hummer, tore up an area that was dug out for the foundation and had pipes sticking up that he ruined. He owned a gas station nearby and the cops just followed the mud over to the parked H2. I remember he got in trouble. Ken could probably elaborate more.
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You and Ken own a gas station????
__________________
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
My Video Collectionez
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08-02-2005, 04:28 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 37,474
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HA! Used to....
A local resturant owner wanted to get his truck muddy. He found a nice spot with some deep holes and went for. After driving through the mud he headed back to the rest.
Later on some police showed up looking for the owner of the muddy H2 out front. 
Turns out the guy went through the holes dug for gas tanks at a 7-11 under construction. Then drove back to his rest. just down the street... leaving a nice trail of mud. 
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"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."---Thomas Jefferson
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08-02-2005, 04:32 AM
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Hummer Messiah
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Virginia Beach
Posts: 37,474
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Quote:
Originally posted by DRTYFN:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by gorton:
one time an Oregon statie caught me and DRTYFN torturing innocent little kittens out in the woods behind his house. We smashed their tiny skulls with ball peen hammers, and DRTYFN even punted one like a football because he said it **** on the hood of his precious H2.Needless to say, i blamed it all on him, but the cop let us go after DRTYFN kindly gave the officer the blow job of his life.
Then there was the time that me and Paragon got pulled over on the way to the secret lodge with that billy goat in back of my F350 powerstroke turbo diesel. Paragon gave him the handshake and we were good to go.
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And then there was this time that a Texas Trooper caught Brad getting sodomized by 3 guys at once. he kept screaming "Call me a Goatse little attention whore!!!" over & over at the top of his cum filled lungs. Then his uncle/daddy came and picked him up New Jersey Meat Hook style and carried him home where the real "fun" started.
Oh yeah, forgot- it was in a 2002TJ.
Stupid dick. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
__________________
"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."---Thomas Jefferson
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08-02-2005, 04:59 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: West and North
Posts: 469
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Quote:
Originally posted by VTSTOMPER:
If you have ever been caught doing something...crazy like off roading where you probably should not...what was your excuse?
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My excuse. I was a dumb ass. Slid my FJ60 Toyota Land Crusher off the fire road in the wet slick snow. Had no trail gear and no way to get myself out. Friends walked 5+ miles into town to get a tow truck that couldn't make it up to where I was. Called another 4wd tow truck. He had to winch himself up to get me out.
8 hours and 515.00 dollars later we were finally rolling home. Oh yea, it was Easter. |
08-02-2005, 08:44 AM
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Hummer Deity
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: In the basement of the Alamo
Posts: 10,855
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