Strange happenings in the UK

[f5fstop]

Bored today, so I decided to read some UK papers, and here are two articles from the Metro

It's not a bomb, it's a penis pump
Friday, August 25, 2006

If you were travelling with your mum and got caught with a penis pump on you, what would you use as a cover up?

One man was so embarrassed he declared the sex-aid was in fact a bomb.

The 29-year-old Illinois man was travelling to Turkey when officials stopped him.

Madin Azad Amin later told officials he had lied about the item as his mother was nearby and he didn't want her to know.

His defense attorney told a Cook County judge that Amin whispered to security that it was a 'pump' and he was misheard.

But then a security guard testified that she clearly heard Amin say the word 'bomb'.

He has been charged with felony disorderly conduct.

You can read about why size does matter here
What have a pencil and a penis got in common? find out here
Vote in our sex aids poll here

Sex blunder
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
A WOULD-BE Casanova needed surgery after sticking a pencil into his penis to keep it stiff during sex.

Zeljko Tupic had to call an ambulance when the pencil shifted and got stuck in his bladder.

Surgeons successfully removed it.

Tupic, of Belgrade, told hospital staff he had never heard of Viagra.

[KenP]

Limeys.

More from across the Pond:

Saucy web incentive
A Cheshire man's girlfriend has promised him a threesome - but only if he can get five million hits on his website.
Richard Green, 30, of Stockton Heath, has more than 250,000 visits to www.pleasemakethiswork.com so far, says the Sun.
Richard, who played cricket for England Under-19s, said the idea came from his girlfriend, Katie Greenwood, 21.
He said: "A few months ago I asked if she would have a threesome. She said she might be into it but challenged me to make something out of it.
"If I can get more than five million hits to my website she has agreed to let me find a girl - I even have it in writing."
Katie confirmed: "I've agreed to keep my end of the bargain but I want to have a little bit of a say in who the girl will be."

They can't even have sex without breaking something:

Romping Brits cause ?350m damage a year
British couple cause ?350million damage each year - by having energetic sex, a new poll reveals.
A third of couples broke something during sex and 10% made insurance claims, reports the Sun.
Damaged items include lamps, vases and beds - and even pulled down curtains.
And many hurt themselves too. Some 41% have suffered carpet burns, a third pulled their backs and 12%twisted ankles or wrists.
Couples in the South East were the most accident prone, while Yorkshire lovers put in the most claims for damage.
Adult store chain Ann Summers commissioned the poll of 2,000 people.
Boss Jacqueline Gold said: "It's fantastic that people are adventurous - but they need to be careful."
Top ten injuries suffered: 1 Carpet burns; 2 Pulled back; 3 Twisted wrist; 4 Twisted ankle; 5 Bruised bottom; 6 Bruised leg; 7 Grazed elbows; 8 Scratched back; 9 Bumped head; 10 Broken bones.

[HummBob]